One of my last posts: and honest exposure of being Eurasian.

I’d like to address this to Asian women, Asian men, and white men, as well. If you read one thing on this blog, read this.

I am a suicidal Eurasian; not someone who pretends to be suicidal for attention, but because I really want to die. Being a Eurasian I am filled with guilt and sorrow (not sorry, but sorrow). I have felt this for twenty years, and will never stop feeling it.

Frankly, I feel sorrow that I am Asian, and part of a race of men that is unattractive. I understand this fundamentally and any sort of explanation of patriarchy, cultural flaws, doesn’t hold weight. It is no coincidence that white men are seen as the most attractive – because they are. Any fault in their character is ignored because of their attractiveness, and obviously they’ll use this and their natural privilege (which I have, as well) to their advantage, as I did.

I feel guilty, because when I go outside, I am assumed to be white. I am attractive, and I am attractive because I am half-white. I feel terrible guilt at the fact that my life is so much better than the average Asian male’s. I feel guilt that when an Asian woman looks at me – she sees me as being attractive because I am not Asian. She values me more. She will make excuses for my behavior, simply because I am tall, and white (or at least whiter). She will ignore men who are harder working than me, more motivated than me – because I am white. Yes, that is the way the world is, but as someone who has a conscious, I do not like it, I will never like it, and would rather take my chances on the other side than endure a few more years of this. I have endured enough tragedy after tragedy after tragedy; I will never work, I will never amount to anything. Frankly I do not know what to tell my son when he is denied over and over something that comes so easily to a white male, and easier to me; I don’t know how to explain that he’ll have to wait until he’s 30 to find a partner, and only as second pick.

I feel guilty that my life has been easier than my brother’s, who looks Asian. I feel guilty that I have had the privilege of being able to live a life of brief love (once) and attraction, without the need to make a lot of money in the Asian mode of life, in order to win attraction. I feel sorrow that I am viewed as inferior or and oddity by white people, and sorrow that I am viewed as superior by Asians – or in some rare cases, an oddity.

When I was young, I was turned down by several girls because I was part Asian. Knowing how suicidal I was and still am, had I been fully Asian I would have thrown myself off of the George Washington Bridge. I feel terrible sorrow that this same behavior was what my mother practiced, but it was never evident to me because for the majority of my life she has been dead. Maybe you can’t understand it, but at a psychological level it is a horrible, soul-crushing feeling to endure. Many Hapas are able to ignore it while coasting off of their white privilege – but to do so is to ignore a horrible inequality in the world: that love is not, and never will be, colorblind.

Which brings me to my last point: white men will use this “preference” to their favor, and in doing so rely on age old stereotypes about Asian men in order to access Asian vagina, while feeling no guilt about it. This is obvious literally EVERYWHERE and is impossible to ignore, and Asian women go right along with it. I could easily go out, in this world, and do this as well – I could easily deny I am Asian, like I always have, for 27 years (I am 29 now). To do so would be immoral – and the children from these pairings – what right does anyone have to say they should be happy? I sought out my wife because she was a good person, and recognized that I was too. I thought, at that time, that God would punish everyone with their sadistic agendas, and that she did not have one, and that she was a good person in a sea of shit.

In short, the white man’s entitlement to a good life, sense of superiority, which my racist father felt owed a woman, a woman who hated her race, herself, and Asian men, created me. I, like many Eurasians, am the result of the the intersection of dozens of negative directions in this world: Racism (white entitlement, hatred for the Asian male appearance), feminism (white males fleeing the feminist white woman who believes she does not owe the white male anything), hypergamy, globalization, sexual domination, fetishization, idolization of the “mixed race” person, emasculation of an entire race, a strong media agenda of racial preference, the collapse of western civilization, and the desperation of western men seeking alternatives. None of these are positives. None. Not once does love even enter the equation – let’s be honest. Love, in an ideal world, will never be racially tinged.

See, I do not fear death. I welcome it wholly. I fantasize about it every five minutes, for a decade and a half. The only way I can even bring myself to go out the front door is the promise of shooting myself, or drugging myself, or throwing myself off a bridge, if things get too bad. If I were a white male – I would never, never entertain a racist Asian woman. To do so will bring tragedy into the world like mine and however many other Hapas there are out there who suffer. Maybe someone will read this and share it in the future; maybe they will say, this man is obviously mentally ill, and I can’t be guilted out of what I like. Yes, I am, and no you cannot. But your children will always, always bear the burden of your choices, so you better hope you
do a good job of lying to them that it really was about true love.

Good bye.

Why AW/WM marriages end in constant fighting / divorce

One of my cousins, an Asian woman, is getting divorced from her husband. He is a large, blonde male (the ideal white partner) but he is a school teacher. I recall going to their wedding four years ago.

The same thing happened with my mother; she married a tall white male, but the marriage deteriorated as she found out his earning power was low. The infatuation / lust she had when young for the white male was replaced with the grim reality that a white male chasing Asian females is probably a fucking loser. (There, I said it). Meanwhile, my other family members that married Asian are all rich, thirty years later. And I mean fucking filthy rich.

This is a common pattern and I expect many Hapas to relate. The marriage starts out with lust, followed by overwhelming realization that it was a mistake. So these women either go back to Asian men before they hit thirty or try to remarry an Asian male.


Eurasians and the Selfish Gene

Being happy comes natural to some people. It would be easy for me to run a gambit through Asia using my white privilege to get laid.

But walking down the street and seeing men who working 14 hours a day for three hundred dollars a month makes me think: why the fuck do I deserve the things they will likely never experience? Because I’m less Asian? That’s the kind of mentality that makes me wary of white men and Asian women. It is too easy to just forget the people suffering when life just comes so easy to us.

“My Hapa Kids Will Be Different.” Wrong. ALL Hapa kids are fundamentally damaged.

So, you say, you think you can raise healthy Eurasian children. Let’s do a run-through of your thought process. Answer the following questions as honestly as you can; I will write what we all know your answer is, regardless of how willing you are to admit it.

Q) Do you find that Asian men are fundamentally unattractive?

A) Yes.

Q) Do you think that white culture, white appearance, and white masculinity is more appealing?

A) Yes.

Q) Do you know what it’s like to be an Asian (even bi-racially) male in America?

A) Asian woman: No. White male: No.

Read More »

The Different Types of Eurasians and Eurasian Parents

Hey folks, today on the Perpetually Sad, Horrible Accounts of a God Awful Existence of the Eurasian Male, we’re going to talk about the different types of Eurasian relationships that lead to different types of fucked up children. Face it: all of them are fucked up because when we see our own parents, we’re reminded how only WHITE WAS GOOD ENOUGH.

1) “No Asian / White-Only” Asian woman and tall, liberal, progressive White male.

  • The male (oftentimes a musician, artist, or all around liberal male with a major in something other than making money) pretends not to be racist and is fully aware of the “no Asian” preference (if it can even be called that) of the Asian female. Aware of this, he rationalizes it by pointing out “attractive” Asian men in the media, and also makes broad statements about the patriarchal / controlling nature of Asian society and Asian men, though he has neither fucking been to Asia nor does he know a single Asian person. He believes his relationship is progressive and liberal, even though he has zero idea about what it is to be an Asian male in society. The Asian woman, again, is “white only” (has probably fucked dozens of white guys) and has zero idea about what it is like to be an Asian male, and coasts by on her Asian privilege, finding herself in the beds of White males with zero repercussions on her social status, enjoying a fully, highly sexual life in the arms of white men, never knowing loneliness of open discrimination that other women of color and men of color experience. Justifies her “white only” preference with claims of patriarchy, even though she never even was intimate enough with an Asian male to back up her statements.
  • After the child is born the Asian woman will suddenly become aware of the differential treatment of Asian men based on how her sons are treated and might even begin to resent the white male counterpart; especially if the so called “cool, hip white guy she married” (as opposed to the conservative Asian guy) affords her a poorer lifestyle than she could otherwise have gotten; she will also feel emotionally detached from a child that looks either nothing like her (if the kid is lucky enough to pass) or will praise the child’s white features; the father will view his son with a bit of discomfort as the son does not fully resemble him, and if it does resemble him, will constantly remind himself and the son of how the son looks “better” that your average Asian male. She then realizes that her marriage to her husband was based on simple exogamy (i.e., attraction based on basis phenotypical traits) rather than genuine love, and the marriage will almost completely dissolve after several years.

Likelihood of a fucked up child: 80%. 

Read More »

Asian Men and White Women Produce Healthier Children

The Asian Woman with a White Man Scenario:

  • Mother: Only white men are good enough for me; I demand that the father be tall***, white, blonde / red haired, blue or green eyed, and one hundred percent white (Jewish, Italian, and other Caucasian types are okay, as long as the individual is white in appearance and benefits from white privilege). Mother pursues man because of his race. If this were not true, then Asian women would be equal opportunists – which they are not.
  • Father: Either completely clueless because of white privilege, or is fully aware that he holds sway and power over access to Asian vagina by default. He therefore harbors underlying views of superiority over the Asian woman; these guys are in the majority, and can often be found in Asian countries constantly complaining about Asian culture, trying to deflect criticism off of himself for dating Asian women by telling Asian men to “improve” themselves, as if he is an expert on the sociology of Asian men. Believes his son to be “an improvement.”
  • Child: Recognizes that his mother selected and gave birth to him because of his father’s race, a race that the child can never be; Elliot Rodger clearly recognized this but never admitted it, instead internalizing the “I am better because I am half white.” mentality.

The Asian Man with a White Woman Scenario:

  • Mother: Fully aware of the negative stereotypes of Asian men and the hostility and mockery she receives at the hands of white men when seen with an Asian man. Pursues / agrees to her husband in spite of his race. Recognizes the statistically higher earning power / reliability of Asian males and chooses to mate despite Asian male appearance.
  • Father: Usually harbors little or no sense of superiority over White men, as society and Asian women have sought to debilitate his morale and self-esteem for decades. Either falls in love with the woman with earnest surprise about why she would be interested in him, and does not view his son as “better” in any way, shape or form.
  • Child: Usually well adjusted, with a healthy sense of racial identity and acceptance from the form of a liberal white woman, who have spearheaded the leftist, multicultural movement and fought against white patriarchy for decades. 

***The emphasis on height indicates an extremely level of racial preference; meaning that not only is the choice a eugenic choice, but dependent on physicality. But, mom, I thought my goal in life was supposed to be to be a good man; how many good Asian men did you shoot down? LIAR!

The reason many Asian males are still happy

Their mothers tell them to be a “nice guy” and eventually at age 30, a nice Asian or white girl will come along after insulting Asian men her whole life and try to seduce him for the stability of his paycheck.

Luckily, my mother acted on her instincts first and found out about the poor paycheck later. This is very common among AF/WM marriages; the girls fuck the tall white man, then find out he’s an entitled, racist, conservative masquerading as a liberal, and that he earns less than an Asian male. Divorce. Happened to my cousins four years after her marriage. Happened to my own father; it seems that the pattern of white men marrying Asian women belongs to white men unable to attain a white woman because of lack of money, looks, etc; and turn to Asian women to leverage his whiteness against her commitment. Many Asian women get fed up after they achieve their goal of reproducing with a white male whom they deem superior, whereafter money becomes their secondary goal.

Of course Asian men would never admit it because they fear the misogyny label. I don’t. I know exactly what’s going on in these marriages.

AW/WM is a SHAM.

By the way, if you claim that I am mentally ill, you’re reinforcing the point. I AM mentally ill – the offspring from AW/WM are very often mentally unstable. There are many more blogs out there saying the exact same thing I am saying.

Asian Women 100% Support White Supremacy and White Patriarchy

While feminists of color recognize the natural privileges of white men, and try to deprive them of the sense of entitlement, to among other things, to vagina, Asian women actively seek out white men to reward for contributing absolutely nothing to the world. Thereby: ASIAN WOMEN ARE WHITE SUPREMACISTS AND WHITE ENABLERS.

Even if a white male contributes nothing to the world but a sense of arrogance, hostility, and racial superiority, an Asian female will still reward her with access to his vagina. The White male recognizes the Asian female as being the last bastion of white male superiority in the world, and uses her as such. These men are often times racist (like my father) and harbor sense of entitlement about what is OWED them, and Asian women are happy to provide what is owed (until later on when they find out that the white male’s earning power is not what it should be).

In a way, Asian women are well known to belong to white men, moreso than to any other race. This is part of both common knowledge and popular culture; it is even more true, to a Eurasian son watching objectively, that Asian women quite clearly default to a race of men to the extent that one can safely assume that Asian women belong to white men.

AW/WM is an ILLEGITIMATE relationship


Hey you, Hapa. Reading this. You feel happy? You feel comfortable being a person of color? Guess what. Your mother, your own mother, laughed and turned down nice Asian men for a white man. No amount of money or kindness could make an Asian man attractive to her. She deliberately sought to exterminate you. YOU.

Now try to look at your mother the same way. I don’t care if you don’t think it’s true. Of course she wouldn’t tell you. You see the average Asian man out there? What do you think it’s like being told over and over and over that he’s not worthy of reproducing?

If anyone is out there listening, I am going to kill myself. I cannot do it anymore. I cannot live with my parent’s choices.

I want to die and I will take my own life. I’m glad to see that no Asian women care at all.

With my writing I will expose every last one of you and publicly broadcast my suicide so that people think of me when they see one of these couples. I believe that there might be God.

Asian Women Don’t Belong to Anyone… Except White Men

And white men know this. White men know for a fact that it’s easy for them to get an Asian woman.

Of course, Asian women claim Asian men are controlling and harass them for dating white men; Asian men are offended. They claim that they don’t owe Asian men anything. They certainly seem to owe white men everything! The same white men that bully Asian men! Why is it always white men? And tall ones? Not black men or Indian men? Answer the question.

Well, after all, you are conveniently reinforcing the stereotypes that Asian men are the least desirable, while every other race sticks to their own, 50% of Asian women “prefer” white men; would you not be offended?