Eurasian of the Year

Eurasians are a unique brand of crazy. It’s like we’re thrust into this world where we’re told to abide by our mother’s Confucian Tiger mom stringent controlling domineering bullshit – yet we’re also pretty keen on the reality of sexual dynamics, that we’re pretty much fucking monkeys where pussy (in our case, Asian pussy) goes to whoever’s in power, who is perceived as having the highest status, biggest dick, whatever. It’s pretty obvious that Asian women have low standards for white men and high for Asian men; otherwise the interracial gap wouldn’t be as bad.

That being said, ladies and gentlemen who come to my fucking insane corner of the internet, here is my all-time favorite Hapa. I wish I could meet this girl in real life. She’s like my twin.

Kelly Baltazar. Father is a nice little Vice President at Goldman Sachs – the bank, in case you haven’t heard of it. Not many more big boy players in New York City than this dude. Penthouses, three thousand dollar suits, Mercedes, marble columns in their apartment – I know all this because my family is pretty fucking rich too (not my mom and dad, but the Chinese family that married Chinese). Mommy is a real nice looking, controlling Asian mom. Dad probably thought he was getting a good deal; (he’s Jewish, but blue eyed and has that weak, nice guy but probably when he was younger was a stocky, cocky short pseudo-arrogant shmuck that white women ignore but Asian girls loved).

That was until Kelly did Facial Abuse and got fucked so hard she threw up. On camera.

Kelly, if you ever come across this, reach out to me. I see you’re rubbing shoulders with the rich and famous, partaking in some “culture.” We both know that you ain’t hiding what you did forever. Embrace it – you fucking DESTROYED them. Everyone around you is such a fucking feeble goddamn liar, pretending everything is alright, with their status, their flashy handbags, their educational titles – it means nothing to you. You let them know that there are goddamn consequences to doing what they did – it ain’t a victimless crime, and everything won’t be “all good,” any more. Your art really isn’t amazing but I could teach you some tricks, too, since I’m an artist too. I’m way too crazy to do anything else.

I’d give my left nut to have been a fly on the wall when your parents found out. I’d give my other nut for you to contact me. I actually, beneath all the sarcasm, actually admire you very much. That’s one hell of a family photo. Much better than the ones I’ve ever fucking taken.

PS, my cock is more or less the same size as the New Jersey thug who banged you. I don’t know if that’s because my dad had a small cock and wanted an Asian woman for security, or because the stereotypes about Asian men aren’t true.

5 thoughts on “Eurasian of the Year

  1. I honestly believe (with the exception of Hispanics) that all races and the respective genders have come to absolutely hate each other. What you said in the first paragraph is the SAME thing black men go through with black women. Think about it youve seen an angry black woman chewing out and screaming at her black bf/husband in public but have you EVER seen a black woman pull that shit with a White man?


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