And I will never be able to accept it or to forgive my mother.
She placed personal preference over the mental and financial wellbeing of her children.
To her, whiteness was a desirable trait, more desirable than financial security; she saw value in her partner being white, rather than in him having any value as a human being, as a provider, or as a man.
She thought whiteness – something I could never have – was so great that she ignored the repercussions on her own mental health and the mental health of her children: “whiteness is all I care about, yet my children will never be able to be white. They will be plagued perpetually by crippling self esteem as I taught them that being white was better than being Asian.”
Regardless of her reasons, I am certain my mother is burning in hell, along with other Asian women who sacrifice the mental health of their own children for the sake of lusting after white men.