Proud of what?
Proud of being white? Or proud of being Asian?
You’re so proud of being Asian yet your own mother had to avoid Asian men like they were poison? How can you be proud of being Asian and Asian culture, when there wasn’t even a single Asian male that was considered good enough to produce your life?
Don’t get me started on “there were just more white men around;” Asian women are deliberately ignoring Asian men, who by natural law exist in equal numbers, even in Asian countries, to pair up with white men.
There is very little that could convince me otherwise; maybe if there weren’t millions upon millions of them I would think it was a coincidence… but there are. And maybe if I wasn’t turned down by Asian women with regards to my Asian heritage – I would have faith that indeed, my own mother and women in my family, were all just coincidences.
“But you get turned down because of your personality.”
Contrary to what people believe, I became like this out of anger at treated poorly, whereas until I was in my early 20’s I was well liked, popular, thousands of friends on Facebook, tall, good looking (women have approached me and stared at me on the street or subway, even while walking with their children), until it became self-evident to me, through observation, careful study of online dating patterns, and personal experience, that Asian blood is problematic.
Oh, let me guess: your parents weren’t like that, right? Nearly half of all Asian women conveniently make up myriad excuses about Asian patriarchy, yet COINCIDENTALLY Asian men are also rated as lowest on the attractiveness scale? Or maybe your mom suddenly became “very aware” of Asian culture after her kids came out looking Asian, and started backpedaling on her hate in order to prevent her child from having poor self esteem?
Which patriarchs were that? The same ones dropping nukes on Hiroshima, exterminating Jews at Auschwitz, or cutting off the hands of Congolese children?
Notice how the “excuses” for why this relationship is so frequent constantly change? First – it was that Asian men were too controlling; then, it was that Asian men were patriarchal foot-binders; then, that they were took meek, pushovers, and too nice; then, that they were too short; then, finally, after intense scrutiny, “there are just more white men around me” (despite blacks and Hispanics strongly preferring each other, even when in a minority), “that they just fell in love,” Of course they’ll tell you that – who the hell would want to turn their own son into a nihilist keenly aware of evolutionary science?
It would make no sense for a father and mother to tell their own son that race matters. They would do everything in their power to deny that race was the common factor in their marriage (even if they didn’t admit it), to prevent their son from coming to the same conclusions that I did.
The thing is, I used to be one of you: a proud Eurasian. My mother was long dead after getting sick from my C-section and I never saw who she really was – but in a way the differences in my parent’s ethnicity never was evident to me except in pictures and I passed as “white enough”” with an undercurrent of pride for my Asian side; but the older I get, the more Asian and I look, and I’ve been taking a good look at these couplings and their public behavior. They’re all the same; the guy is tall and really white. I don’t believe in excuses of patriarchy.
And then after Elliot Rodger, it all became evident to me – all the self doubt, self hatred, insecurity and anger I had, and plain old crazy behavior, was passed down from my mother; all of the psychotic mannerisms of both myself and my brother were the direct result of having such a hateful woman as a mother.
Your mother, Hapa, was doing it for physical reasons. You were allowed to exist only because you had a white father. How embarrassing is that? And there are millions upon millions upon millions of Asian women and white men (even the liberal anti-misogyny ones) who feel that you’re upgraded because you’re white – your white father rescued you from a hellish existence of being an Asian, and being an Asian patriarch.
Hapa men largely live in denial; they claim their mothers fell in love with their fathers despite these couples being so visible and so monstrously vitriolic towards Asian men, that you can’t go a single day without seeing them. Maybe, Hapa, your mom can take you out to Chinese food and you can pretend you actually have a culture – at least one that wasn’t one of convenience to her when she was looking for white males to have sex with.
You’re living paradoxes. Go outside and look at the uniform smugness of these couples, then remind yourself that your parents were the same. Exact. Way.
It took me 25 years to realize it after so long of utter and complete life destroying catastrophe and psychological trauma that has left me socially incapable and mentally distraught. Maybe you think you’re better than me because you can accept it, and accept your parents; but even Hitler’s dog loved him unconditionally.
Your parents believed in the superiority of white males – something you will NEVER be. Keep being proud, you coward.