You Know the Best Thing about Being A Hapa (Asian feminists please respond)

Knowing that if I looked Asian like my brother; I’d have gotten bullied worse than people thinking I’m a Russian thug.

Knowing that if I got bullied I could expect my own mother would be blowing and rewarding my own bullies while I’m putting a gun to my head. Thanks parents! What do you say to that, Asian feminists?

The more I learn about Chinese culture, the more I surround myself with everyday people who care about me, who never once abused me for not looking like them, who fed me and gave me a roof over my head, the more I realize what monsters racists and people like my own mother and women in my family are.

The more I realize that I had been free of racism my entire life – yet my very own brother was not – makes me instantly lose virtually any lingering respect not only for her – but every other woman in my family that was once dear to me. This happened literally within days of coming to this realization.

Or maybe I should just be proud to be Asian? Or which is it? Proud to not be fully Asian? Proud that my own brother faces discrimination while I coast by in life?

Proud that people whom I could otherwise look like get painted why a wide brush while people who look like me (non-Asian) get a pass from virtually all generalizations about the controlling nature of Asian men? I’m expected to sit here, knowing my 6’2″ white father is a monumental racist and conservative while I’m expected to believe and accept that’s very single asian man I’ve met, the ones who took care of me when I was deathly ill and alone in Beijing, the ones who earn four hundred dollars a month and live four to a room while I can make several times that just by virtue of showing up with my white last name?

I’m supposed to believe and accept that women in my own family adopted white last names, were married to or are married to white males, all tall, of course, and that I need to accept that this is because of some severe cultural flaw in Asian society, but only Asian men, the same men with whom I share minor superficial features?

I’m supposed to merely accept, while my adoptive family in Beijing are making dumplings right in front of me, all of then with smiles and concern for each other, who took care of me and gave me a roof over my head when there wasn’t a single person who ever gave a damn about me, when I was on the brink of suicide, and ESPECIALLY not my brother, and would definitely have given less a damn about me had I been born with oriental eyes?

As a mixed race person who looks predominantly white – I say right now that there are levels of privilege in society. White males have amazing privilege, as I have experienced and written about before. Guess who has next? It used to be white women – until they went off on their own and made enemies with the white global male powers; so now it’s Asian women, sidled up with the white male “patriarchy” as if it’s a default.

Asian women are privileged. They don’t get called gook and chink on the street. My brother did. My friends and my family did. But I never did. But my children will. From a Hapa: you’re all filthy liars. All of you. Maybe you can convince yourself you’re doing some kind of good. But your children will pay for your sins.

It’s quite simple, as I’ve reiterated over, and over, and over again: a non-white male, in western society, will be demeaned almost constantly for his race – and this includes your very own child. He will then try to either hide or take pride in his heritage – but he will find it next to impossible to take pride in his heritage when his own mother sought to demean it and destroy it by proxy of a white male. And you wonder why Hapas are so troubled?

I have yet to find even a single WORD coming from Asian women about the realities of their Eurasian sons, only until after they have children and come to terms with the realities and fruition of their terrible actions, and out of some perverse kind of guilt try to redact what they did by imposing their own views on Hapas. But nobody can be a Hapa but a Hapa – and to be a Hapa is to form your own opinions of your parents; and by going outside and viewing the reality of race relations in the West it’s virtually impossible to form a positive opinion of an Asian woman and a white male, including our own parents.

8 thoughts on “You Know the Best Thing about Being A Hapa (Asian feminists please respond)

  1. White-worship is a really just an extension of what many Asians hold as the ideal beauty standard even apart from Western influence-bigger eyes are better, lighter skin is more desirable. If you’ve been to Asia, if you talked to your mom or been in touch with your Asian side you would know that. An Asian woman influenced in such a way by her own people (it’s “made in china” so to speak) is doing what’s absolutely natural, especially if she herself isn’t deemed pretty by her own family, in marrying a white man.


    • I live in Asia – it’s not really a Eurocentric view of beauty. The idealization of white skin and large eyes has gone back long before interaction with Europeans. The first drawings of Europeans, I found after reading about Japanese history, for example, portrayed them as less than beautiful. Asian women do like looking “whiter” but only in the literal sense of having white skin (some of whom are whiter than most white people). So that could explain the degree of white worship especially among the less desirable asian people. But more to that fact, it’s more a patent and engrained hate of Asianness that affects western society and even effects men and women and even people like me – who was afraid to reveal my asian heritage until after I moved to china and realized how beautiful people (again, some) can be, inside and out. Corny? Yes. But legitimately anti-racist? Moreso.


      • Your blog makes it seem like all Asian women who marry white dudes hate Asian men and prefer white men for their appearances.
        Above I was making the point that it’s not necessarily the woman hating how Asians look that drives her to a white man but really feeling inferior for not looking like Fan Bingbing or who Chinese see as desirable. If she looks the opposite of Fan Bingbing, let’s be honest, a white man is going to give her kids a good chance of having those big eyes and white skin that she doesn’t have.
        Also a good amount of Asian women are gold-diggers. To think that all of them with fat bald men prefer them over Asian men for just their skin colour is crazy talk.


  2. feminism is all about hatred towards their own race of men.
    just like how a white american feminist was raped by black men in haiti last year, and she blamed it on white patriarchy.
    Asian feminists are also the most racist towards their own men, all feminists are lairs and hypocrites


    • That’s true. Which is why white guys who get involved with them aren’t really doing themselves any favors. A hateful person doesn’t make a good partner anyways and on top of being born an Asian male to a white father, Eurasians are also born with really monstrous women as mothers.


    • Anyone who generalized an entire group of people likely isn’t rational – though it is mostly human nature to generalize – but recognizing out generalizations and confronting them is way better than being a hateful twat and then forcing a life onto a child who didn’t ask for it.


  3. my father is half chinese half indian. my mum is full indian (but her origins are northwestern indian, so she is indistinguishable from a white woman..growing up, she had always been mistaken for a eurasian because she looks persian/kashmiri/maltese. this is not my insecurity speaking, this is fact, because none of her children’s ever resembled her in skin shade ). my dad’s dad married a woman of chinese origin. we are based in southeast asia where indians and chinese have been diasporas for a few generations. my dad, who is now middle aged, still has an inferiority complex about never looking Indian his whole life. my chinese grandma is rather superficial in that she is obsessed with indian/arab eyes and general appearance. my father subscribes to a lot of double standards and have tried to sway me from marrying men outside of my race (saying that his dad’s decision to marry out precipitated the ruin of the family), while all his female family members have married every race under the sun BUT indian.. it’s not that i dislike men of my own race (i dislike the inherent patriarchy and entitlement of men belonging to 3rd world cultures, be they indian, hispanic, arabic, russian), it’s just that, as a woman who is 3/4 indian who had been raised in southeast asia and the uk, i had never been around indian men… i’ve never had more than 1 as my classmate, never socialised with a group of them, did not have a mother who had indians in her social circle….. i can’t even speak the language. on the other hand, i grew up around chinese people while in southeast asia and the uk… even though i have a lot to say against the culture, i can honestly say that i feel more at home with it in that it’s just more familiar. anyway, as per my observations growing up, it’s always been foreign men or southern chinese/cantonese men who’ve been attracted to me (for my eyes and bollywood’s influence)… whereas indian men in the west are too self-hating/distracted by the next blonde thing to cross his path/will have to listen to mommy and daddy about marrying the same case. if i ever marry, it would be into a culture that, at the height of globalisation/modernisaton, is still replete with values (jewish) and equality and feel conducive for the upbringing of children in a modern world. most indian men are kneejerk misogynists, drunkards, momma’s boys with hangups (i don’t need to marry into drama.. besides, as indians we marry the family members, not so much the boy lol), westernised and lost or simply shabby and unexposed (FOB). Whereas Chinese/eurasian guys are often good looking and pleasant but lack identity and are too docile (or absent) to their parents…to the extent that you wonder how anything in their lives were ever reconciled/discussed growing up… not to mention their obsession with japanese porn and white-worship (or the other extreme, black women) and the fact that they’d find me less than ideal due to my non porcelain skin (everyone knows that a white skinned latina is their last golden ticket) . in this respect i’ve always thought that marrying a lighter shaded man would make things easier for my offspring (ability to pass as different races) in addition to confirming my desirability in a way that makes indian, chinese and chindian men hate themselves even more (you can’t drool over liberated blondes and want to keep your women to yourselves while further oppressing them.. it doesn’t work that way anymore.. thank God my ancestors gtfo of India or China).


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