Hapas are Born Aware of the Brutality of Life

I say this because several hapas have been messaging me asking me to write more, and since I have an over active mind and the talent of being very emotive, I’ll share some more thoughts.

The recent plane crash caused by the murder / suicide of the copilot in Germany made me think about the egotism of men; I wouldn’t say it’s only a White thing, since all men are capable of immense egotism. I’m willing to venture a guess by his appearance and say that the copilot was probably spurned by women and likely single. Whether or not this has to do with his physical appearance or otherwise is up for debate, but I do notice that the men who get involved with Asian women often feel slighted by western (re: white) society.

I do notice (only by observation) that the better looking white men are pretty keenly aware of asian female “hypergamy” and “white fever” and weigh that against their options with a white woman. The ones who wind up with asian women have a tendency towards being either racist (a negative with white women), unattractive, short, or extremely conservative and antisocial. This probably leads them to feel they deserve to be either worshipped for their race or at least be reciprocated sexually for simply being white – I.e., for simply existing. How do I know this? Because at one point I doddled in white nationalism and felt, too, that I was being spurned unfairly. This never really amounted to anything and eventually I got over it, but I did realize that mentality came from my western upbringing, one which promises too much, and delivers very little in the end. It’s also a very racist culture.

Combined with the father’s bigotry (often times manifested in an animosity towards Asian men, to feel superior to whom he fucks Asian women) as well as the mother’s tolerance of this, reveals a very tragic reality to the Eurasian. Personality does not matter; kindness, does not matter; anti-racism does not matter; in fact, nothing matters. He is merely the result of cold, brutal evolution at the expense of everything else including the emotional health of the child, and for this reason the son is destroyed at birth.

If you do have a Eurasian son, please just abort him. I say that with sincerity. Of course no one will ever really care and the world will keep on spinning while people keep on smiling believing that it’s fine; it’s not, and it’s something only the Eurasian male is aware of. It sounds quite brutal, but isn’t it the reality?

I mean – we can pretend for ages that the reasons are something that they’re not, but simply observing, and even observing, for example, Chinese people, seeing how many of them do not take care of their appearance and are real quite obsessed with money at a core level, you almost begin to think that our mothers were justified; but what freedom is that? At the end of the day, are we not still Asian men? What should we take pride in – in being somehow freed from full Asiandom? To enter, by the skin of our teeth, white society that would never really accept us if we were full? To enter into a society that is brutally racist and cutthroat – or turn back to our Asian side that is just as cutthroat and over which we lord an advantage, wagered against ourselves?

Being Hapa really is tragic, in the same vein as being a mulatto must be. I guess at the end of the day this blog is less about being Eurasian, but more about the tragedy of life and my dislike of those either ignorant or privileged enough to deny it.

Sometimes I do think that the Japanese herbivore men have it right – they voluntarily deny the next generation the curse of life. If they suffer so much – why force it upon a child? If a white man suffers so much, why force it upon a mixed race child whose mother was something that, in all likelihood, had hate in her heart?

Who Teaches Racism and Violence?

Before you read this, I suggest you learn about Marcus Epstein, racist aggravator, perpetrator of violent assault against a black woman, and Hapa. I really do, at the end of the day, suggest anyone with a liberal bone in their body to really question the white male and Asian woman pairing; I am telling you this as someone who is fairly “progressive.” Who exactly teaches racism? We all know that racism, at the bottom of it, really equates with some kind of sexual jealousy – (as all things in life do revolve around procreation, more or less) – and why is it that Eurasians like Rodger or Epstein seem to be somewhat prevalent?

Is it because, without a positive way to view their masculinity in the Asian framework – they lash out at people they view as more successful than them in a racial frame? 

(And for the record, FUCK Elliot Rodger, the cowardly little bastard who killed four innocent Asian men out of self-hatred – both his parents should be thrown into prison for the child they raised). And to hell with racism and people who perpetrate violence and racism against any ethnic group.

I went through several “phases” in my life, one of which was being infatuated with “white nationalism,” and everything else that entailed that. Like most white nationalists, I had a bit of a soft spot for Asians, since being Asian myself, and also because their “culture”, in the eyes of white supremacists, is “comparable,” or at very least, “reasonably civilized,” the downside being their “lack of creativity.”

The primary reason I did engage in this mindset was due to a lack of direction I felt coming out of college, as well as a general lack of self esteem – having been shot down by two white girls who favored a black male over myself; internalizing this negative perception of my “Asian masculinity” I sought to attack what I viewed as being a more sexually potent ethnic group, i.e., black males. This was coming off of a period in which I had previously been extremely liberal – having grown up in New York City, I had rallied against gentrification, had routinely sought to bully white people, and disliked white culture subverting what I thought was a comfortable environment in which I thrived; i.e., New York City.

But growing up the seeds of racism had already been planted; my dad was a racist, blatantly so, and an anti-semite, and although this was a point of contention with my mother (who was fond of Jewish people, as many Chinese people are), she agreed with him in his points against black people. This was so pronounced that she would make insane claims about AIDS in Harlem as we drove through, pointing out random individuals who she said had AIDS by the way they dressed.

To this end this fueled my anti-racist period in high school and college where I deliberately sought out friends of color and antagonized white men; and this extremism carried over, somehow, into my white nationalist stage, where even at that point, I didn’t have many white male friends and idealized, merely, a “better time” when people were more decent according to what I thought they should have been like (myself, probably having ingrained Asian stoicism and anti-socialism, probably idealized a more stable society).

The thing is – despite all of this racism – I couldn’t quite bring myself to hating anyone outside of my confinement, and on the street, I found myself actually having more in common with random immigrant strangers than I did with white people – no matter how hard I tried. I remember one time in a small bar in a 90% white town, after I was invited by some “friends”, that I felt aloof and found myself talking to a man from Uganda who sat alone at one of the tables; I immediately felt a connection to what I saw as a perpetual loneliness in a culture that I really could not, and never really, belong to.

This kind of duality that Eurasians experience is something I’ve witnessed time and time again (re: half-Korean / half-Jewish white nationalist Marcus Epstein); it is the racism taught by our racist Caucasian fathers, who deliberately  sought out Asian women to fulfill the gap left by white women, whom they viewed as having turned course and betrayed the white maleness that they viewed as the key to civilization, and a happy, godly life.

My father was the same, and my mother went hand in hand with it. I feel shame for this, because at times when I literally had no one else – it was people of color who were taking care of me; and as much as the white nationalists and supremacists who read my blog will protest, yes, there are good people of other colors out there, and they are not going anywhere, so why not, as I have, accept our fates and learn to embrace them?

I am the son of a racist, paleoconservative, deeply-religious white male, and a “white-only” Asian woman with whatever intents she had. I was, since the beginning, a failure, confused, and bitter at the world, but only through careful rehabilitation of my spirit, and accepting who I am and acknowledging the savage, deeply disturbing nature of my parentage am I able to move on.

The Ongoing Eurasian Civil War

Hapas and their troubles is something the world is really mum about. The question is why?

My theory is that it’s because the modern narrative wants to believe that all mixed race children are just fine; moreover the modern narrative despite being liberal is white dominated and Asian females parlay just fine into this narrative as a convenient alternative to white women, while at the same time remaining evidence of non-racism (like a token black guy).

Yours truly sparked a rather heated debate on Reddit last night – and since then have been repeatedly insulted, having questioned my mental health, calling me violent, even going so far as to say that I am going to join ISIS (re: closeted Islamophobia and racism masquerading, once again, as part of the liberal, American agenda).

Notwithstanding the criticism – I am intense, I am passionate, and I am outspoken – oftentimes which gets maligned by the powers that be as being mentally ill (is this the first time this has happened, Galileo?); but why is it that talking about Eurasian issues gets met with such hostility? I didn’t say a single thing that would indicate a propensity towards violence – yet people are legitimately trembling in their boots because I have the audacity to challenge the status quo.

It’s a lose-lose trying to argue about Eurasian issues; for one, people are terrified of being called insane (like I have been) for pointing out these issues. At the same time, people like Elliot, the dozens of Eurasian pornstars, the spate of Eurasians in the news recently, existed almost specifically because of the ugliness of their parents. Is it so far fetched to assume that being Eurasian actually has an effect on the psyche of an individual?

On Reddit, /r/Whasians was created last night as an alternative to /r/Hapas after I went on the defensive (against dozens of people) about the dangers that Eurasians face as being born from racist (or racist-tolerant) parents.

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I’m done writing, and I feel very sorry for any Eurasian boy, and sorry for any parent who refuses to acknowledge the issues at hand.

And will never fully embrace a life in which he is undefined by his race.

Why do I say this? I’ll leave this, frankly, as one of my last posts; I know I’ve said that several times, but eventually I know that the monument that I and other Eurasians built over the past few years will serve as testament to the real loneliness that only a Eurasian can experience. From the bottom of my heart – I really do feel very sorry for any Eurasian boy born, if he even experiences a tiny fraction of what I’ve had to experience.

I come off extreme because my example is extreme; being Eurasian even in a way directly led to my mother dying. The paleoconservative father, the racist white-only asian mother, the mental illness that my brother deals with, the dissolution of the marriage, the identity issues, the mistrust – all of it is extreme but it’s true. I figure any other Eurasian out there at least might be able to find a little bit of common ground in my experiences. That’s the point. There are hundreds of other Eurasians out there who feel like I do. I am probably the most vocal, I do write to get a rise out of people which is the best way to get attention to something that is a legitimate problem except in the eyes of white males masquerading as leftists and screaming racism at the top of their lungs – like the Tea Party or white nationalists who cry racism against white males. Being controversial works – all of what I said on my blog is true  – and despite what people want to portray me as – I’m not a murderous lunatic; I’m outspoken against the status quo and that makes soft, first-world-problem white men uneasy, and makes it easier to pigeonhole me as a psychopath or a danger to society.

People simply do not want to believe or acknowledge what it is like being Eurasian. White males simply cannot fathom a life wherein they are not white, wherein both their parents are not white – and not because I hate white males – but I realize that in the position that I too, could have easily spent my life passing – it would be hard for me to ever acknowledge, despite how proud I am of being Chinese – that life would have been much more difficult for me had I looked fully Asian.

The very thought that some people are unhappy is met with disdain – particularly from the white left, because to acknowledge that a mixed-race child is unhappy goes against the zeitgeist of our time, a pseudo-liberal cultural movement engineered by white people to the benefit of white people under which their privilege is veiled with the guise of being anti-racist. Similarly to the Tea Party, or white nationalists – I get branded as a racist, or mentally ill, rather than them ever acknowledging that perhaps – PERHAPS – being caught between two cultures, being caught beneath the parentage of people who have no idea what it is like to be mixed race, let alone an Asian male – is not as easy as it looks.  There is no way to stop intermixing; there are bad apples in both race and people tend to generalize on the negatives within their race – and then reach out as a way to somehow free themselves; Chinese culture is far from perfect, but being a Eurasian caught in between is something beyond mere culture and something that degrades the soul to exhaustion – simply from being unable to really call anywhere home – from being unable to rely on either side in a stormy and racist and chaotic world.

American culture is one that pretends to be happy – it’s part of the very soul of the country, to fantasize that our freedom gives us some license to be happy and immune to the rest of the world; but the people who push this fantasy still remain the same people who have held the reigns of power for so long. Even though they preach it, they do not and are not willing to live it – to live in the shoes of someone who does not experience their privilege.

An Open Letter to Asian Men Worldwide, from a Eurasian son

If you know what’s good for you, you will share this among your local communities and forgive my translation (via Google translate).

I am a Eurasian born from a racist white male and a violent, hateful Asian woman from Hong Kong who was ethnically Chinese; she threw herself at my father and they were married, but almost divorced and their marriage deteriorated after she learned nearly a decade later than her fantasies about her white Prince Charming were merely fantasies and her status of being married to a relatively poor, vehemently conservative, racist white male amounted to nothing.

She ultimately died (from a bad blood infusion after Caesarian surgery), which my uncle says was the result of her simply not wanting to live with her decisions and giving up on treatment – being selfish enough to not even care about her own children. I realize that to this day I have passively resisted in becoming anything of significance – if only because of my low self esteem – but also because, I realize now, that I recognized the true nature of sexual evolution and that character has little to do with ones success in this world – when race and physical characteristics matter most. If my mother said that only white men were good enough for her – why should I contribute at all to this world? 

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Asian Women Don’t Love (They Love Money and Status)


I don’t believe there are innocent Asian woman + White male couples; after opening my eyes to the harshness that these women conduct themselves – I no longer take pride in being born from a woman like this and I would rather to have never been at all; if the majority of them are disgustingly racist, why exactly should I give my mother, or anyone else who says “I’m not like that” – the benefit of the doubt; especially when their partners are all the same? White, white, white (and tall). And that’s merely breeching the whole litany of issues of being born a man of color to a woman who submitted herself to the virtual representation of endemic power on this sick planet we live on.

Remember when I said that I would expose Asian women for what they really were?

There are several semi-visible “progressive” Asian women out there who are vocal in the media and on the internet about the experiences of “mixed race children,” although these women are all uniformly married to white men, and only white men; there is little about Blasians, half-Indian / half-Asian children, half-Hispanic children (unless the guy looks Caucasian), and almost all of the products of these relationships are from Caucasian fathers (even Jewish, which itself represents status and wealth).

How about this one? Here is a woman in Brooklyn named Jenna Park who works as a relatively well known (for all I know) designer and is ironically founder of the “Mixed Race Project,” which like many other Asian women, only became a post-30’s job after she realized that there were consequences to her hatred and that she couldn’t actually turn herself white via association with white men.

Similar to my story, when she was young she married and got pregnant by a tall white guy (it had to be a white guy). My mother, fresh off the boat, literally threw herself at my 6’2″ father and eventually they got married; but several years later she began to savagely hate him, abuse him, call him worthless and even summon the law on him, all out of a sheer hatred for his inability to make money and his general meekness and conservatism, which not by coincidence, are all characteristics of a man who would marry a self-hating and racist Asian woman. (I.e., women who reward a man’s whiteness and nothing else). Another one of my cousins only recently started pushing for a divorce less than four years after marrying her husband – who also is tall but extremely meek, and lacking in lucrative employment (being only a tutor).

Lo and behold, some years after Jenna’s internal Asian hypergamy kicked in and she realized that he wasn’t making enough money. Asian women and people are renowned both among themselves and the larger world for being quite obsessed with money, and any Asian person would attest that this obsession is almost at a genetic level, to the point that it repeatedly resurfaces in international news. It would be funny if it didn’t have such a resemblance to my parent’s own marriage; she had her fun, but now, being an Asian woman, she becomes genetically wired to get money. Which her husband wasn’t providing. Asian women are well known even in China for wanting a house, car and a hu kou (i.e., residency status in a decent city like Beijing or Shanghai). Now, instead of living in the luxury of Beijing or Seoul or even in Manhattan, she’s stuck in a sexless marriage in an overpriced tenement walk-up in Brooklyn.


Literally – almost word for word – this kind of reality surfaces, almost mirroring the experiences of my parents – when they’re young, they want white guys (for whatever reason, lust, superficial status, whiter kids)  – but when they get older – the fantasy of who these men really are breaks down and they realize what could have been; and in my case, what could have been was a centi-millionaire lifestyle like my Chinese relatives, and their healthy, well adjusted children all have. How many other stories like this go untold – stories where the woman only values one thing – race and height – at the expense of EVERYTHING – including the own mental and physical prosperity of her own children?

9fb797a8a87dcb9b522a7d1f3f4fb01bThese people are monsters, MONSTERS, and you should point your fingers at them whenever you see them.

What’s more, she’s the creator of the bullshit afterthought Mixed Race Project; she also admits that when she was young she was a white-washed (read: only dated White men) woman who was able to find a partner because of her privilege of being part of a desirable ethnic gender group. I’m also guessing she was extremely cruel to Asian men, even though she lived in Brooklyn, which is minority white. Yet she still married a white male!

Here’s the question: Should these monsters be forgiven for being racists when they were younger – or should they wait until after they have kids to realize that the privileges they had as an Asian woman and white man actually had consequences? 

“Yellow Fever” Doesn’t Exist

Just go on any dating website, Eurasian men, and see how many Asian women are looking for white men. Go take a walk down the street, and look how many Asian women are hanging off of white men; how many are hanging off of you? These women will be future mothers – to Eurasian men, like you, and like me.

Now, go downstairs to wherever your mom is, and look her in the eye knowing she only thought white men, and white lives, and a white child, was worthy of existing on this earth.

Now go look at your dad, and know that he tolerated your mother’s blatant racism because it meant he could get laid – making him a racist himself. Apathy or at least ambivalence about racism isn’t equivalent to racism – but it’s pretty fucking close.

You, Eurasian son, were born of an Asian woman who deliberately sought out a white male on the condition that only whiteness was worthy of going out with, having sex with – nay – reproducing with. Asian patriarchy? Culture? Is that what it is now?

Now go be proud of being a Eurasian.