Redefining What it Means to be Hapa

The truth really does hurt and I think it’s much better for younger Hapas to think it through rather than coming to the conclusion later in life.

“Hapas,” the whole shtick about Hapas being beautiful and intelligent, Hapa pride, and parents filling their children’s heads with Hapa pride (such as women creating “Hapa” websites, creating Hapa shirts, Hapa businesses, articles and books about being Hapa, things like #myhapastory and other pedantic garbage)…

…is nothing more than an afterthought to provide children with self-esteem and identity after they are born as a result of Asian women vastly, vastly, vastly preferring white men over Asian men.

Being a Hapa has no inherent meaning unlike what our parents fed us.

The idea that Hapas are beautiful is just a repackaging of the idea that Hapas are better because they have one white parent (almost always the father), and the idea that Hapas are some amazing master race is just the result of, for whatever reason, Asian women vastly preferring white men. That’s literally all it is. 

Hapas aren’t special. They’re just the natural result of Asian women finding white men naturally more desirable, for physical and social reasons, than Asian men. By that logic Hapas are less attractive than fully white men. They’re just “upgraded” Asians. If you’re a Hapa and you haven’t asked yourself why these relationships are so common yet, you frankly just haven’t had your first negative experience yet.

Hapa Truths

Eventually every hapa has to come to terms with the brutal reality of life. I am and I realize I did this too late. I don’t have it the wherewithal to raise a child and my distrust in the people around me has surmounted any other feeling.

Even the best of us, if we pass, shouldn’t be idiots and think that life would not be better because of it. (By “it” I mean our white blood). Of course it’s better. We avoid bullying, racism, violence and even the pitfalls of romance and contempt.

It’s kind of a hell, or a limbo. It’s really easy to ignore. We could have all pretended that it was just love between our parents; but then that would ignore the massive disparity in the pairings along racial lines. Maybe it was love.

But the conditions on which love was built was the dismissal of Asian men. Men we easily could resemble with a simple generic nudging. That’s the worst part of it. I can’t really ever take pride in being a Hapa, because all it means is that I’m white enough, through my father, to have a passable life free of agony and pain as is so common in this white supremacist world (I say this not because whites claim they are supreme but that this is unflappable status quo).

Nobody in their right mind will ever admit this. It’s way too uncomfortable so they merely scapegoat a group of men, conveniently a shorter, uglier, less personable group of men. And maybe the stereotypes about them are true; and maybe I have to legitimately accept racism against half of myself. I am good looking, tall and intelligent and I now realize this major hell and how this mental duplicity has made me absolutely crazy over the years.

Frankly if this is life, and I have to make incredible mental compromises just to exist normally, I don’t want to. I don’t want to be alive. I simply cannot cope with the idea that I am given more opportunities simply because half of me dominates; I can’t cope with the idea that my mother’s actions were calculated to give me a better life while my father raised me on the ideals of romance and Christian egalitarianism (well, as far as Christians go).

The people who read this blog should consider themselves lucky that they get to read the active diary of someone destined and willing to die and for better reason than most; hopefully I’ve laid the groundwork as to why. For all the other “positive” Hapas, I say this: you’re privileged enough by your appearance to not even consider what I’m talking about. End of story.


The fetishization and commoditization of Hapas continues. The Smithsonian APA is asking people to submit their “Hapa” stories. And then hashtag it with #My Hapa Story, in 250 words or less. Here goes.

Like most Hapas, I was born to a white father. But this wasn’t just any white father, he was an extremely paleoconservative, vitriolic racist who believed Asian women were God’s gift to white men. My mother had a strong passion for tall blue eyed white guys, and they got together, eventually giving birth to my brother and me. When I was born, my mother required a C-section (as a huge percentage of these couplings require them), which led to her being infected with Hepatitis during a blood transfusion. Over the remainder of her life, she realized that her fetishization of whiteness amounted to her having married a Neo-Nazi husband who had been filling her sons’ heads with white supremacism; compared to her sisters, who had married Chinese, and were all millionaires, she felt regretful. She consistently reminded us that we were better to be half-white, and Tiger Mommed us on top of that. I started associating looking Asian with not being desired (since my father was white) and spent 25 years attempting to hide my heritage so that I could be accepted in the same way that I saw my mother and women in my family disparaging and avoiding Asian males. She eventually died.

I then started to wonder why exactly the MAJORITY OF ASIAN WOMEN prefer white men. I then began to severely doubt that these relationships were based on love.  After that I started writing this blog and pushing the moderators of to be more active.

250 words, just like they asked.

Challenge to Asian Women All Over the World

Answer the following questions:

  • Do you not think that your own Hapa sons will not, at one point in their life, question why Asian women and white male couples are so common?
  • How long do you think you can lie to your son, assuming he looks Asian, that your marriage / relationship was based on racial imbalances?
  • Assuming you ONLY value white males, how will you instill proper self esteem in your male child, assuming he looks Asian?

On The Reality of Being Mixed Race

Being mixed race actually sucks a huge amount, and I believe this relates back to the primitive urges and desires and psyche that exists in every last human being, regardless if we admit this or not. But more importantly, in the real world, being mixed is simply the result of two young people idealizing the other’s culture and appearance, and having kids, who are then excluded from economic, social and romantic opportunities that both parents found easily because of their privilege (White men and Asian women are extremely privileged in society).

I suggest this be read by both whites, Asians, and mixed race people. I will try to keep this objective.

I am quite resentful about certain things and while it is normal for people to be resentful I do imagine that life can be simplified when we maintain the status quo as defined by nature; despite it being good for ones ego to be validated by another race (of men or women) the effects on the child are well documented, yet completely ignored.

Most people really do believe that being a Hapa is some kind of blessing – but the people that say this are people who are not mixed, or people who went through periods of extreme confusion and stress to only come out of it with a renewed mentality.

In my case, I went through a period of having no stress (I was crazy, but didn’t pinpoint it to my race) – to arriving at the conclusion that being mixed absolutely sucks.

The myth of the “beautiful Hapa” was only engineered as a justification for people with trans-racial lust and fetishization. Note that the claim that all Hapas are beautiful and intelligent is extremely racist since it implies that they are better because they have white blood.

This blog has been up for quite a while and I don’t think I’ve ever received a proper response to the questions posed – namely how a male child is supposed to function when born under the conditions of power and imbalance between the races that favor the white male and disfavor the Asian male;

The only response I did receive was one that said that I should use my “white blood” to my advantage; ironically in doing so I could probably achieve more in life, but it would be a betrayal of myself, and the extreme nihilism of doing this won’t really ever make me able to get over my extreme distaste for my mother (long, long before I realized who she really was I had nightmares about her maybe two-three times a week for 10 years, and I was told by an old classmate that I was laughing at her funeral).

Some of the things I feel resentful about, as a WM/AW Hapa.

  • I feel resentful that I am considered “better” because of my white blood; I would rather face the full brunt of racism than have to live with the knowledge of being superior because of my whiteness.
  • I actually was not fully taught to deal with racism, it was only after entering my 20’s when my appearance became more Asian looking that I was faced with racism and unable to cope with it in a rational way.
  • I feel resentful that I am treated differently than how I would be treated were I fully Asian. I would prefer to be aware of people’s true feelings rather than be treated accordingly with my white features.
  • I feel resentful that I was lied to about success, when Asian women like my mother gladly sleep with losers like my father provided they are white.
  • I feel resentful, now having been to China, that I am excluded from a burgeoning economy and a culture of amazing advancement, simply because my mother had a fetish.
  • I feel resentful that people are naturally clannish;
  • In this regard I feel resentful that the culture my mother had the audacity to raise me in (Chinese), excludes me from employment, from social life, and from true inclusion, despite me considering myself culturally Chinese.
  • I feel resentful that my mother valued whiteness, which implies I have to betray half of myself to meet the acceptable standards of my own mother.
  • I feel resentful in being taught to be proud to be Chinese, yet only under the conditions that I had a white father.
  • I feel resentful that the women that I feel I have a natural bond with prefer white males (most men subconsciously prefer women who resemble their mothers); including my own parents.

Moving unrelated posts

This website is mostly about the blatant hypocrisy of sexual selection at which Eurasians are literally at the epicenter. 

I’d hate to toot my own horn but because of my background and appearance I’d like to believe that I’m helping people by introducing new patterns of thought, whereas I could easily have just gone the other way and become just another hedonistic tail-chasing prick. 

I will post topics on other subjects here: Ivy League Loser.

The “Eurasians are Beautiful” myth 

Eurasians are not attractive.

Actually, it is white men who are attractive. Hence our mothers all uniformly threw themselves at them.

The Eurasian beauty myth was merely the result of attempts to justify the white fetishes of our mothers; most Eurasians at best resemble off-white people or slightly less robust whites. At worst we look exactly like the Asian males that our mothers desperately tried to avoid. The entire premise of Eurasian beauty is that we are better than full Asians. 

So ultimately it’s not us who are beautiful. It’s white men that are. We’re just the fallout from this nuclear level act of sexual selection.

A Slight Primer For any Asian Men reading this

Foreign or western.

I think most of you know what’s going on, but if you don’t, it’s really not worth worrying about.

It dawned on me that Asian women will hold much lower standards for white males, because they genuinely view them as superior. The extent of this, I’m not sure. I can’t say for certain what percentage of women think like this but it could be all of them, for all I know.

Your problem is that you marry these women. It’s perfectly okay to live your life alone; sex can be gotten through relationships with other races of women or through prostitution. I beg of you to not marry these women and rather to let them give birth to men like me. Once their lusts wear off, frankly the marriages become disastrous and I am testament to that. Moreover Asian women are women, human women, governed by the laws of human women, wherein sex is levied in exchange for some sort of currency, be it emotional, physical, monetary, or racial, or even the investment of time itself. Furthermore, depriving yourself of egotism and desire for sex also deprives future generations from a woman that can satiate their sexual urges, so in a way you are saving yourself and your future dignity from the embarrassment. Slip off the Confucian bullshit and just enjoy life.

My problem is that unlike most Hapas I’m probably above average intelligence; I think like most children the bulk of Hapas are born with depreciating IQ’s (for whatever reason) that doesn’t lend itself towards introspection. So you have a bunch of whit-ish looking Hapas who are more than happy to laud up their white side.

The current world is one where the blanket of hedonism is being waved by people frankly too stupid to find greater purpose in life; it’s not really worth missing out on since this lifestyle is unsustainable and will ultimately lead to cultural collapse from violent outside entities (since you largely have to be white to enjoy hedonism, and the majority of the world is neither white, nor able to engage in laissez-faire existence, as even getting enough food is not easy or even a given).

I suggest you translate this and distribute it on Chinese language message boards, Etc.

The Asian Female / White Male Dynamic Broken Down from the Inside (I.e., From a Eurasian Son Viewpoint)

Since this blog is quite long I figured I would reiterate my experience as the son of an Asian mom and White father. If you have similar experiences please contribute to this thread.

I will break this down sequentially.

  1. My mother had a poor relationship with her father, who was physically abusive to his children; she also had a background of poverty wherein the grandfather quite literally beat all of the children with a cane in the case of them doing poorly in school.
  2. She threw herself at my father on meeting him in a university setting; he was tall and blue eyed with red hair.
  3. Father was an “Asiaphile” with a degree in East Asian studies and multilingual in Asian languages.
  4. Father believed mother was “God’s gift from heaven.”
  5. My brother was born, then I was born via C-section, after which my mother received a blood infusion with blood tainted with Hepatitis (which would ultimately prove fatal).
  6. Up until the marriage and the time after that I don’t recall since I was too young.
  7. Brother looked distinctly more Asian than me, with black hair.
  8. Mother began to “Tiger Mom” my brother and focus all of her attention onto him; I suspect this is because he looked more Asian.
  9. I was allowed more liberties in terms of sports, video games, social activities; brother was mostly friendless.
  10. I began to act out at a young age, acting violently and anti-socially; possibly as a way to get attention from my mother who seemed to devote time to brother (possibly because she felt little connection with me, because of the C-section or because I looked less like her)
  11. My mother gradually grew sicker and with this more anger at my father’s racism (she called the police on him), as well as his inability to provide (was making roughly 40,000 to 50,000 a year against her siblings’ husbands who were making millions), as well as his cultural ineptitude and unwillingness to take a strict mentality with the children.
  12. Mother repeatedly hit my brother and I with various items, coat hangers, rulers, etc.
  13. Mother confiscated our toys repeatedly, punishing us with more and more severity.
  14. Towards the end of her life grew extremely resentful and hateful towards my father, constantly badmouthing him to me, criticizing everything from his eating habits to his appearance, and refused to allow us to go with him to his home state in the event of her death. Near the end she had a full blown hatred of him and refused to even see him while on her deathbed; she died alone.
  15. Died. I did not cry at her funeral although my brother did. I was laughing. This followed by 12 years of nightmares involving my mother returning.
  16. Brother having been primed to be accepted into a single top ranked school his entire life, was rejected despite my mother’s promises and efforts. His mental state collapsed.
  17. Unable to function without mother’s intervention he locked himself in his room for an entire year.
  18. After this became hooked on meds, institutionalized and spent $150,000 on mental health services despite doctors saying nothing was wrong with him.
  19. Effectively destroyed his entire brain with medicine and is no longer recognizable as a person; has worn the same shirt for 11 years. Schizophrenic as well as violent breakdowns at work in which the police were involved.
  20. My story was effectively increasingly paranoid, hatred of my Asian appearance, shame, involvement in white supremacist groups, extreme weight loss and weight gain in order to alter my appearance to be more white, etc.

The Purpose of This Website; and Why Eurasian Children are at a High Risk of Mental Trauma

I’ll keep it short and say that with Asian women actively trying to marginalize and emasculate Asian men they are be extension harming their own sons – even on a macro level and regardless if the child looks completely white (extremely rare) there are still a myriad of issues that can plague the mind with regards to ones ethnicity and its role in the hierarchy of society and sexuality.

A Hapa could very well be proud of his “good looks” but having good looks does not equate with being a good person, and ultimately a Hapa has to come to terms with the idea that he is considered “better” because he is less Asian through his father.

The entire thing is a recipe for disaster. This reminds me of a “conversation” I had with an Asian woman yesterday; she was completely obvious of the repercussions of her mentality – as innocent as she thought it was – it’s not hard for someone who is objective to see how this mentality would harm a child; I think Asian women are not objective since they are largely driven by either inarguable lust or heavily skewed societal preferences that can’t be somehow overcome.