Being mixed race actually sucks a huge amount, and I believe this relates back to the primitive urges and desires and psyche that exists in every last human being, regardless if we admit this or not. But more importantly, in the real world, being mixed is simply the result of two young people idealizing the other’s culture and appearance, and having kids, who are then excluded from economic, social and romantic opportunities that both parents found easily because of their privilege (White men and Asian women are extremely privileged in society).
I suggest this be read by both whites, Asians, and mixed race people. I will try to keep this objective.
I am quite resentful about certain things and while it is normal for people to be resentful I do imagine that life can be simplified when we maintain the status quo as defined by nature; despite it being good for ones ego to be validated by another race (of men or women) the effects on the child are well documented, yet completely ignored.
Most people really do believe that being a Hapa is some kind of blessing – but the people that say this are people who are not mixed, or people who went through periods of extreme confusion and stress to only come out of it with a renewed mentality.
In my case, I went through a period of having no stress (I was crazy, but didn’t pinpoint it to my race) – to arriving at the conclusion that being mixed absolutely sucks.
The myth of the “beautiful Hapa” was only engineered as a justification for people with trans-racial lust and fetishization. Note that the claim that all Hapas are beautiful and intelligent is extremely racist since it implies that they are better because they have white blood.
This blog has been up for quite a while and I don’t think I’ve ever received a proper response to the questions posed – namely how a male child is supposed to function when born under the conditions of power and imbalance between the races that favor the white male and disfavor the Asian male;
The only response I did receive was one that said that I should use my “white blood” to my advantage; ironically in doing so I could probably achieve more in life, but it would be a betrayal of myself, and the extreme nihilism of doing this won’t really ever make me able to get over my extreme distaste for my mother (long, long before I realized who she really was I had nightmares about her maybe two-three times a week for 10 years, and I was told by an old classmate that I was laughing at her funeral).
Some of the things I feel resentful about, as a WM/AW Hapa.
- I feel resentful that I am considered “better” because of my white blood; I would rather face the full brunt of racism than have to live with the knowledge of being superior because of my whiteness.
- I actually was not fully taught to deal with racism, it was only after entering my 20’s when my appearance became more Asian looking that I was faced with racism and unable to cope with it in a rational way.
- I feel resentful that I am treated differently than how I would be treated were I fully Asian. I would prefer to be aware of people’s true feelings rather than be treated accordingly with my white features.
- I feel resentful that I was lied to about success, when Asian women like my mother gladly sleep with losers like my father provided they are white.
- I feel resentful, now having been to China, that I am excluded from a burgeoning economy and a culture of amazing advancement, simply because my mother had a fetish.
- I feel resentful that people are naturally clannish;
- In this regard I feel resentful that the culture my mother had the audacity to raise me in (Chinese), excludes me from employment, from social life, and from true inclusion, despite me considering myself culturally Chinese.
- I feel resentful that my mother valued whiteness, which implies I have to betray half of myself to meet the acceptable standards of my own mother.
- I feel resentful in being taught to be proud to be Chinese, yet only under the conditions that I had a white father.
- I feel resentful that the women that I feel I have a natural bond with prefer white males (most men subconsciously prefer women who resemble their mothers); including my own parents.