Once in a while, I will come upon a half Asian guy who bashes his own heritage. I used to do the same, but I never bashed my mother other than when telling white guys that “Asian women are not that submissive.” Other than that, I was plagued by nightmares of my mother for ten years, and for ten years constantly made fun of Asian people. My relationship to my mother was… non-emotional. Sometimes I imagined that I had no mother, that I was just, somehow, born. I didn’t feel Asian, nor did I want to be, nor did I want to be associated with the woman that she was.
When Asian women marry white men – they do so not because half Asians are attractive, but because white men are more attractive for whatever reason.
My guess is that it’s because Asian women feel white – or at least that they have a place in “superior” White Western culture. One that is a lot more de facto “high class” or “high culture” by virtue of being white. Love is certainly not colorblind – especially when I was at the top of my class, funny, outgoing, and yet heard “I only date white guys, sorry.”
I guess I missed the cut on being that super hot half Asian.
I mean, white male / Asian woman couples are so common because it’s clear that Asian women just don’t want Asian partners. No other race of women acts like they do; white women marry out, but at a rate of 5%. When Asian women marry out – they go for the most Aryan phenotype that they can get; tall is good, blue eyes is great, extra masculine is very, very good. My dad was two for three – maybe even two-point-five for three.
The goal is to have a white-passing son, and they will be happy. No complaints, a happy social life, white looks, a normal chance at a normal life. This is the ultimate goal.
It’s easy to be “proud” to be Asian – without having to look like it. You can laugh off the jokes, you can claim you’re Hapa without having to deal with the fallout. It’s an added benefit if you are 6’3″, athletic, and very good looking – but I fell three inches too short.
For whatever reason, the ultimate goal is to create white children, without having to change their race; Asian women can just wing it. And until that point they will just sleep with white men, take the brunt of literally every joke about Asian women being white-worshippers, to the point that their children are simply white.
This is why Hapa pride is a joke. Relying on a Eurasian male to have any sensitivity to racial issues is laughable, as long as he can party and have sex and have a hot girlfriend. And I guess this is what our Asian mothers were really hoping for – a son that can just survive in this wasteland of partying and having sex. They might slap on a Chinese or Japanese name, or give you a Chinese middle name but the result is the same. For some reason they can’t see the logic as to why Half Asian males hate being Asian and rather just pass off as white, especially in Western society, which Asian women desperately want to integrate into. After the first fifteen hundred times of hearing “of course it’s your mom who is Asian,” and “you’re handsome (because of your white father)”, half Asian pride becomes stupid.
I was one of those. I would make fun of the Chinese accent, sing fake Chinese songs, even bully some Asian friends. My non-Asian friends thought this was funny, and they encouraged it. After all – nobody wants to fuck an Asian guy. Everyone wants to fuck that cool White guy.
That was until the “I don’t really like Asian guys” started.
Now you can understand why it’s so hard to find a half Asian guy who will date Asian women; because I think, deep down, they all know that we’re just luckier than full Asian men, that even Asian women like our mothers reject in droves. So while these guys might, on paper, claim that they are proud – the bulk of them reject their Asian heritage, and with them, Asian women. Even though they might like them. The real saddest part of half Asian identity is that most of us essentially acknowledge the irony of the situation – that no matter what, we’re better off – and our mothers?
Well – how could we ever take them seriously, knowing this? How could you take seriously a woman who tells you to be proud yet her and all her sisters and friends married white men? The writing is on the wall. How could you respect an Asian woman who threw herself at white men – the same white men who built a universal culture that hates half of us – that humiliates half Asian men for being Asian?
This seals the deal on the issue forever. I don’t want to hear any more sociological musings coming from obscure university offices.
I’ll tell everyone here a real ugly truth. I married my wife because I love her dearly. I married her because I was proud to be Chinese, my mother had encouraged me to marry Chinese, and after all these years, I still considered myself Chinese and left America looking for a place that I could die in peace, and wouldn’t feel so worthless anymore. And there are days that I regret it. I regret it so much. Because I don’t want my children to suffer. And because I simply have no way to explain to them how their lives are worth less – according to millions of women who look like my mother. Chinese women actually make me regret marrying Chinese, for the same reason that many half-Asians don’t want anything to do with them.
But that’s the American Dream, right? Party, fuck, don’t complain; send some money to people in Africa, but never complain. As long as you’re white, or damn near white, don’t complain.