🔥🔥🔥🔥Why do Asian men / White women couples seem to produce all of the successful Half Asian children? Academically cited as well.

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For an Asian guy to get a white / non-Asian woman he generally has to be mentally fit, physically sound; but for a white man to get an Asian woman he merely needs to be White. You do the math.

Asian women seem to know this – but avoid the elephant in the room.

Despite claiming that half-Asians are wildly successful (we are not, especially not compared to half-black people, who white conservative men passionately hate for reminding them of the “treason” of white women), there is no indication that half-Asians with white fathers and Asian mothers have achieved major success, even compared to other mixed-race pairings (such as the worldwide fame of Gigi Hadid and Zayn Malik – both of whom have Pakistani fathers and white mothers).

We can just go out on a limb and say that it’s the overall creepiness of the leering, racist white dad with yellow fever and the self hating Tiger Mom and that entire “dynamic” that screws up biracial Asian sons of WMAF, but it’s deeper than that.

We could also say that most Half Asians with Asian dads involve a tall, handsome, charismatic Asian guy and a very beautiful white woman (due to having high standards on both parts), while most Half Asians with white dads involve a rejected, anti-social, anti-feminist white man and a self-hating Asian woman who can’t stop fighting and won’t touch each other.

Essentially, low-status white males and self-hating Asian women decided that they needed some way to justify an immensely unbalanced and fundamentally racist and elitist pairing, and so they promised hybrid vigor as a way to compensate for the fact that Asian males are hated, while Asian women are adored as an alternative for low-status non-Asian men who failed at relationships.

The best thing an AMWF / AMXF / AMLF couple can do is avoid WMAF, and keep their children away from WMAF. There have been reports (largely on Reddit) of WMAF couples actually going out of their way to denigrate and attack the children of AMWF and we all know now that White men married to Asian women seem to have a perpetual “racial tourettes” where they can’t prevent themselves from saying overwhelmingly racist things about white women, blacks, Asian men, and are so bizarrely creepy that they will actually examine their childrens’ facial features and stare at Hapa men in public as if they are gauging whether or not they want a son who looks more chinky or less.

After fifty years of boasting of some eugenic hybrid vigor (which no other mixed race pairing has promised) – the very best they can do now is steal Keanu Reeves (Asian father), spout off Nathan Adrian (5’11” Chinese mother, an extreme rarity), Olivia Munn (well known for being a horrible person), Kristen Kreuk (a has-been who has never achieved major success), and some half-Filipinos (some of whom aren’t even half Asian) while coming up almost entirely short on famous half-Chinese or half-East Asians with Asian mothers.*

I will use the following paper, “Children and the Shifting Engagement with Racial/Ethnic Identity among Second- Generation Interracially Married Asian Americans,” (Kelly Chong, PhD, University of Kansas, 2013), and the paperRacial Identity, Family, and Psychological Adjustment in Asian-White Biracial Young Adults” by (Vanessa Chong, University of Windsor, 2012).

Both papers ironically were written by Asian women with white partners – as if they themselves have begun to worry about their own children; they both write specifically that the children of Asian men and White women fare better than the reverse.

The reasons are varied, but I have compiled them all with actual sources, written, ironically, by Asian women with White husbands.

Asian men and white / non-Asian women.

  • Woman likes the Asian male despite his race and all of the negative stereotypes against him. Generally his race won’t be an “issue” (meaning that many White / black women are completely unaware of what the children of WMAW couples talk about)

Former President Barack Obama was quoted in the Washington Times as saying this about his mother:

“I always felt as if being black was cool,” Mr. Obama said. “[Being black] was not something to run away from but something to embrace. Why that is, I think, is complicated. Part of it is I think that my mother thought black folks were cool, and if your mother loves you and is praising you — and says you look good, are smart — as you are, then you don’t kind of think in terms of ‘How can I avoid this?’ You feel pretty good about it.”

  • Understands the child will be perceived as Asian and nurtures it in him, unlike White fathers and Asian mothers who hope the child looks white, and truly believes the child is white despite the kid facing extreme overt bullying and harassments from Whites / non-Asians for being Asian.

Many of the Euro- ethnic wives in my study were distinctive in that most of them appeared to be more cognizant about the issue of ethnic identity with regard to their children than were the Euro-American husbands in the study and, for the most part, were enthusiastic about helping their children engage it in some form. (Chong, pp.211)

  • Doesn’t pretend the kid is going to be a male model
  • Healthier fundamental basis, no white supremacist, anti-feminist white father who idealizes Asian women; no Asian mother who says horrific things about Asian males.
  • Loves the Asian male on either his looks or his character or both; doesn’t have delusional ideas about the child being a superhuman based on his race; if anything, completely avoids or shuns the idea that Eurasians are superior due to the fact that they are half white.
  • Doesn’t talk shit about Asian women.

In contrast to the women who frequently alluded to the nerdy quali- ties of Asian males as reasons for these men’s undesirability, interracially married Asian American men in my study rarely mentioned explicitly the physical shortcomings of Asian females as reasons for not marrying or dating them. (Chong, 2013; Pg. 197-198)

  • Both parties are conventionally attractive rather than fetishes

Although Asian American women in this study were generally highly assimilated as well, I believe my observations support the findings elsewhere that the assimilation “bar” may be higher for Asian American men than it is for Asian American women who wish to cross the ethnic/racial line in terms of romance and sex. (Chong, pp. 198)

  • Relationship is not politicized against Asian males or White females, as is the case in WMAW relationships; Asian male does not talk poorly about White men or Asian women
  • Asian men and white women do not promise Eurasian superhuman myths of their children, which seems common in extremely average looking White male / Asian woman couples. Asian men and white women do not hype up or focus on the child’s Asian features – merely that is is a child whose parents were in love.
  • While Asian women essentially do not date anyone but White men – Asian men have diverse love interests and oftentimes marry women that are opposed to White supremacist ideals.
  • The White or non-Asian women who go after or accept an Asian man tend to be more socially conscious and tuned in with the child’s ethnicity and needs.

Many of the Euro- ethnic wives in my study were distinctive in that most of them appeared to be more cognizant about the issue of ethnic identity with regard to their children than were the Euro-American husbands in the study and, for the most part, were enthusiastic about helping their children engage it in some form. (Chong, 2013; pg. 211)

  • Asian men and White women do not raise their children to be “master race”, push them to be models or actors, – but moreso normal, well adjusted people who are grounded, get good jobs, good education, and develop normal social lives.
  • White women will not marry an Asian male for status, as this is impossible given the lower status of Asian men.
  • Asian men actually have to meet a threshold in order to marry a white woman – they have to be good looking, or have a good job, or a great personality. A white man literally needs none of these when marrying an Asian woman, setting a terrible example for the child: i.e., look handsome, white, or die.
  • Most white men who get with Asian women are generally meek, “weak,” anti-social, Asiaphiles, nerdy, nebbish, or “losers”
  • Relationship is not about integration and assimilation into Whiteness, but against it
  • Relationship is not tinted with anti-feminist sentiment
  • Asian guy needs to hit a certain looks standard (looks are more important to White females than they are to Asian females)
  • Asian father is traditionally masculine, has good facial ratios and fits conventional attractiveness, which western women find appealing, due to narrow eyes, tan skin, dark coloring
  • No covert incest between mother and child
  • Promotes sports and social activities
  • Confident AMWW children generally date White women / non Asian women
  • Genuine interest in the Asian culture
  • Hopes the child looks Asian / dark features
  • Both parties have friends from a wide range of races and backgrounds
  • Doesn’t prioritize race, “passing” or “white privilege”
  • Both parties are historically disenfranchised
  • A very good looking Asian guy generally will wind up with a woman of another race

 


 

White men and Asian women

  • Woman likes male specifically for his whiteness and status (Hence massively skewed statistics among Asian women and white men – no other minority men)
  • Hopes child looks white
  • Praises the child’s light features / Euro features
  • Strongly hypes up the child’s ethnicity as biracial, promising high status which the child fails to obtain
  • Child generally strongly disfavors anything but the white side

Another Chinese American mom, Carol, related an incident about one of her young daughters that she found similarly disturbing and unexpected: this daughter, who is more Asian looking than her sister, announced suddenly one day that she did not like Chinese people, or anyone with black hair and dark skin, and chose a book for a school project explaining that it had light-skinned people on the cover. (Chong, pp. 205)

  • White men / Asian women generally have the most really terrible things to say (Chong, 2013, pg. 197-198)  about Asian men and have a complex power dynamic (White father, Asian mother) wherein neither is willing nor able to visualize the problems of the child. After all – Asian women want white children, and don’t seem to care as to how they get them. Asian women will praise White features – ignoring the fact that many half-Asians look totally Asian, either at birth, or in adulthood. This causes the child to hate its Asian side – like Elliot Rodger, and Daniel Holtzclaw.

In contrast to the women who frequently alluded to the nerdy quali- ties of Asian males as reasons for these men’s undesirability, interracially married Asian American men in my study rarely mentioned explicitly the physical shortcomings of Asian females as reasons for not marrying or dating them. (Chong, 2013; Pg. 197-198)

and

In fact, Monica recalled an incident that was highly disturbing to her. When it was pointed out to her six-year-old son explicitly for the first time that he was half-Korean, she remembered that he almost became angry and horrified, and retorted, “No I’m not!” and ran out of the room. (Chong, pp. 202).

  • If child is not white, the mother will develop resentment toward him due to loss of status (hence so many Asian women with Asian looking sons displaying anti-social or miserable behavior).
  • No other interracial pairing, including Asian men / White women pairs, are so obsessed with how their kids look. White men, in particular, have a habit of staring at Eurasian children so as to examine their features in a way that some Nuremberg scientist would.
  • Tiger Moms
  • Extraordinary high rates of mental illness among mothers
  • The psychological emasculation of the child may start at an early age, especially within white supremacist cultures that love to demean Asian men, whereby the child feels mentally destructed or encouraged to hide his Asian side (which always fails).
  • White men involved in these relationships blatantly ignore signs that they are being used for their race and privilege, such as nearly constant comments about how “handsome” their western features are (despite not actually being handsome) and then don’t realize that they are being primed to create children like us whose entire value is that we look less Asian than we would normally look.
  • Encourages child to pass as white, compliments the child’s white features; this doesn’t exist in other biracial pairings where there is so much weird, creepy “examining” of a the child’s features: this is exclusive to WMAF couples.
  • Discourages child’s Asian features
  • Asian women historically do not marry for love – only for social benefit – and marriage to a white man, and only a white man, is seen as being the ticket to integration and “superior” children to fulfill a stringent life plan.
  • Family home environment harshly discourages identification with Asian males, yet promises high status for being mixed with White
  • Only care about the Asian culture after freaking out abut the child’s Asian looks
  • White men and Asian women in these relationships generally hate Asian men – yet their sons look Asian to Western society. 
  • They willingly ignore long legacies of white male supremacy in the Western world and willfully ignore clear indications of narcissistic behavior, such as fetishizing the child for his white skin / big eyes.
  • The entire premise is built on the hope that the child is white passing, whereby the father’s behavior, character (racist, alcoholic, violent, broke), all are non-issues as long as he is white; should the child be Asian looking, neither parent is prepared or willing to help him.
Monica, the Korean American mentioned earlier who in the past struggled painfully with her Korean heritage and appearance, feels that now that she has biracial children, she finds reengaging with Korean culture a simple necessity….

When asked whether she would care about ethnic cultural maintenance had her kids been Euro-ethnic, she confessed that she would not, and that the reason she felt the need to reconnect to her ethnic culture was because her kids have an undeniable Asian appearance. (Chong, 2012; pg. 202)

  • More often than not – but not always – the father is bottom of the barrel mentally or genetically (the prior in my father’s case) and for whatever reason ignores the woman’s clear white worshipping because he will stoop to any level to get laid… (English teachers, weaboos, nerds). Essentially men that were never intended to reproduce manage to find a way by virtue of having white skin.
  • Essentially any white guy can get an Asian woman
  • Both parties limit themselves to white friends
  • White privilege is taught to the child, and even encouraged by both parents
  • Many very unattractive white men go for Asian women as a fallback
  • Near constant debasement of Asian maleness in the home
  • Strong animosity towards anything and everyone Asian
  • Horrible personality
  • Strong dislike of AMWW couples
  • WMAW children generally limited to dating Asian women due to low self esteem
  • White father harasses children and makes Asian jokes
  • White father is oftentimes earning much less than the mother
  • White father is oftentimes a “loser” or a racist who sees Asian women as “replacement” white women who appreciate white men – leading to the child retaining the racist mentality.
  • Higher divorce rates
  • High parental health complications.
  • Just look at these couples. The power imbalance alone (75-80% of all Hapas having White fathers is enough of an implicit message that Asian men are inferior) is enough to cast a side eye at them…. now imagine the result of being the child.

Why the HELL are the most successful Eurasians to come out of EUROPE of all places – the hotbed of extreme racism, produce uniformly successful half Asians with Asian fathers despite being outnumbered?
These are all more or less familiar names – where are the ones with white fathers?*
American television, in the last year or two, has featured six Eurasians that I’m aware of.

SIX out of SEVEN of these half-Asians on AMERICAN TELEVISION in recurring roles have white mothers.

  • Rush Hour – Jon Foo
  • Marco Polo – Remy Hii
  • Agents of Shield – Chloe Bennett
  • House of Cards – Sandrine Holt
  • Elektra – Elodie Yung
  • The Amazing Race – Zach King
  • Criminal Minds – Daniel Henney.

Here are all the aggregated links discussing why the reasons AM/WW seems to produce top feeding success stories, while WM/AW produces dregs and burnouts.


Notes:
*I will admit that half Philipinos seem successful. I don’t know why – but East Asian mothers really love to try to highjack half-Filipinos to fill out rosters; why can’t they name any half Chinese sons beyond 2 or 3?
*I am aware there are successful half Asians – by law of numbers there will be. Fifty years of WMAW pairings would logically produce a few; yet despite being vastly outnumbered the children of Asian men / White women seem to have gone above and beyond – I would imagine being a Bond girl, a massive celebrity in Switzerland of all places would count as very successful.

Another insane WMAF story from August, 2016: Lecturer stabs Chinese wife 76 times because he wrongly thought he was not father to their children

It seems that the worst marital horror stories seem to involve White men and Asian women. Not only because of the depraved, fetishistic nature of it – but because of the amount of miscommunication, deep seated mistrust, and bizarre quality of the males involved.

I.e., Asian women, having very low standards for white males while living in Western countries, will gladly marry mentally unstable, unattractive or even violent white men n an attempt to properly integrate.

What seems to have been the case here is that his children looked Asian. 

White men – oftentimes so racist as they want a submissive Asian woman, a replacement white woman – but wind up getting kids who look 100% Asian, react in unpredictable ways. Even worse is that Asian women (like my mother) seem to only value one quality – WHITENESS – for the purpose of integration and avoiding ethnic marginalization – so the relationship severely lacks proper foundation, which I’m sure Mr. Kerr realized after a while. Some Reddit comments on this sum it up. They talk about various aspects:

From the idea of White men being perturbed by the idea of his wife cheating on him with his “competition” – i.e., lowly Asian men, to his wife cheating on him with another white guy (since it’s not him she “loves”, but his whiteness). 

Robert Kerr, 39, struck as his two sons slept upstairs in their Glasgow home, going on to make himself a hot drink while his wife Xin Xin lay dead

Taylor PhotographyRobert Kerr and Xin Xin Liu on their wedding day
Kerr fatally attacked Xin Xin as their children slept

A lecturer fatally stabbed his wife to death 76 times after wrongly believing he was not the father of their children.

Robert Kerr attacked Xin Xin Liu, 39, at their home in the suburb of Newton Mearns, near Glasgow.

Kerr, also 39, killed his wife while his two sons slept upstairs.

The court heard how he then went on to make himself a hot drink while Xin Xin lay dead.

A judge heard how the mum suffered more than 70 wounds during the horrific killing in April this year.

Kerr today faced a murder allegation as he appeared at the High Court in Glasgow.

FacebookRobert Kerr
Kerr killed his wife while his two sons slept upstairs

Prosecutors however accepted his guilty plea to the reduced plea of culpable homicide on the grounds of his diminished responsibility.

Kerr was suffering from “an abnormality of the mind” at the time of the fatal attack, the court heard.

This is his first offence, and he will return to the dock in November.

A group of Xin Xin’s relatives were in court today, with some weeping as the graphic details of her death were revealed.

The mum had moved to Scotland from China around 15 years ago to study law at Aberdeen University.

It was there she met Kerr, who was doing a computer course. They went on to get married in 2003.

Kerr was latterly a lecturer at West College Scotland in Paisley while Xin Xin was training to be a translator.

They were described as a “quiet and private couple”, but, in early April this year – weeks before the killing – Kerr had contacted his GP complaining of stress in respect of “work and personal issues”.

Kerr added he was suffering from anxiety, insomnia and spoke about “paranoid feelings”.

But just four days prior to the attack Kerr spoke to a nurse and said he had been feeling much better and appeared to be sounding “chirpier”.

It changed on April 26 when Kerr – wearing a dressing gown – fatally attacked Xin Xin as their children slept.

Just before midnight, he then dialled 999 and admitted: “I have just killed my wife. I murdered her in a stabbing frenzy.”

He went on to state there was “blood all over the place”.

FacebookRobert Kerr
Robert Kerr’s wife suffered more than 70 wounds during the horrific killing in April this year

Police discovered Xin Xin lying on the kitchen floor with a knife still in her body.

After being held, Kerr then told officers: “I found out tonight they were not mine.”

Jane Farquharson, prosecuting, said he had “suspicions” that a friend was the dad of his children.

Miss Farquharson told the court: “A paternity test recently carried out…has since confirmed that Robert Kerr is the biological father.”

A number of blood-stained items were found at the couple’s house including a milk carton.

The advocate depute said: “Kerr has since admitted that he had made himself a hot drink after this incident.”

A post mortem later revealed Xin Xin had suffered a total of approximately 76 wounds.

Balloon Boys being coerced by their conservative white father to support Trump

Because of the nature of WMAW – Its politics, its conservative nature, the weird, grabbish quality the white males lord over their children, the fact that these kids are being abandoned in droves by their racist white fathers. – I think it’s fair to point out that the hapa children of white men – without proper intervention from EVERYONE – are going to prove to be a national security risk.

 

Explaining extreme behavior of young Eurasian males, Part 15

I’m going for total transparency. I try to explain being Eurasian as best as I can. I’m not pretending to be a moral or good person. I am exactly what I am, meaning I was born from two people whose intentions were never clear. You can develop your own theories; Oedipal, Freudian, emasculation, narcissism, failed expectations, mental illness, hybrid depression, anything you want, but I will tell you what it’s like.

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When I see stories like this, the first thing I think is that, shit, I was almost there. Please believe me. Being a Eurasian male is something almost inexplicably terrifying to ourselves. Not to all of us, but to some of us.

I hold back on a lot of my explanations for two reasons.

  • I have the number one half-Asian blog, if not website, on the internet right now so eventually I’m going to catch the eye of someone who knows me. This would essentially be familial suicide.
  • I don’t want to genuinely talk about the kind of mental illness I went under out of fear of… whatever. You guess. Flashing lights, sirens, etc. Sad to say, I went through a phase like that, but I’m over it now, ironically after keeping this blog.
  • During this phase I felt like I was no longer in control. It’s hard to explain, when your mind is so far gone that you feel as if you no longer own your own actions. I felt like I was being trapped in my own appearance, desperate to claw my way out by any means. And the rage, and anger. The sense of being abandoned, the loneliness, the isolation.

I myself admit that I’m a far cry from how either the Asian community or the white community would expect of someone from my educational background.

I also admit that, as far as my readers can tell, I’m “not all there,” I’m a very emotionally damaged person, hurt at a deep level and deeply distrustful of human beings. I am not a good person, I am in fact probably the complete opposite of what a Tiger Mom and a conservative dad – or any kind of upstanding human being – would want from a child. Again, far from the “Eurasian” master race myth, but…

There’s one thing I know and that is that my kind of problem isn’t unique. Up until I went to college I never met another Eurasian male with a white father except for one, who was half Philippino and huge.

I thought this absence was unusual in retrospect. Most of the Eurasians I knew were girls with white fathers or either gender with Asian fathers. It’s as if we were just dropping like flies early on.

I want to explain why guys like the above story are pulling knives on people.

We snap, that’s all it is, really, and the reason is because we feel as if we have no hope.

It’s not like full Asians, who have the hope of becoming rich and getting married. With Eurasians we’re essentially told from birth that looking how we look is somehow a crime.

Full Asian guys say, hey, at least my mom and dad love me, they support me and wish the best for me. For Eurasian guys, it’s like, we don’t even know our own parents. We don’t know who they are. They don’t even know who they are. I mean if you think about it you have two people from totally different backgrounds getting together for reasons that neither one of them is perfectly clear about…. and if they were clear about it, they’d be bad fucking reasons.

Essentially the fetishization clouds their relationship so much that they wind up having such a weird, weird dynamic between the two, and more often than not they converse in broken English. Sometimes I wonder if my mother’s frustration also stemmed from her inability to express herself clearly.

I mean, Christ, just think about it. Just think about it for a moment.

  • It’s an Asian woman being penetrated by a white man. His arm around her in all your photos. White dominating Asian.
  • You go online and see people who look like you absent from everywhere. From pornos, from books, from movies. You see Keanu Reeves, that’s all.
  • You look Asian, but you don’t. You can’t be Asian. Your dad is white. You can’t be.
  • You go out and try to make friends. Then the jokes start. Small dick this, chink that.
  • You say, fuck this, I’m going to be proud to be Asian.
  • Then you realize that Asian men around you are a laughing stock as well.
  • You catch your mom watching Bradley Cooper. She’s watching pale, big nosed white guys that look just like your dad. Forget Oedipal – talk Freudian. 
  • You look Asian. Even your own dad thinks Asian jokes are funny. He’s totally aloof. Even your own mom thinks they’re funny.
  • Your mom makes comments about your tall nose, your eyes, as if you are a doll. You’re not Asian, she says. But you are.
  • You begin to hate everything about yourself. Your hair texture. It looks Asian. Your nose looks Asian. Your eyes look a little bit Asian. You want to just… claw them out, pull your fucking hair out. You’re white. My dad is white.
  • Maybe you’re good looking, maybe you’re not. It doesn’t matter – because you’re still a chink and good looking chinks don’t matter.
  • You begin to feel trapped, and hopeless. The Hapa beauty myths don’t help. Most people just look at you like a chink. You complain to your mom, but she’s in the arms of a man who looks exactly like the people calling you a chink, day in, and day out.
  • Boom. You realize that you’re in the defeated class – but who defeated you? 
  • Wait for it – your own parents, the people who should have been with you since day one. And not only that, but it dawns on you that Asian culture itself, the culture you were raised halfway in, was and is so callous as to not give a single shit about your wellbeing. It was as if, here’s some white blood, deal with it.
  • Boom.

It’s all incredible bizarre. And it has to do with something I still haven’t figured out yet. Just the insane degree of cruelty present in Asian culture that places the individual last, or the massive degree of racism in white culture, just combined for a nuclear level meltdown.

I’m past it now. I’ve moved on. It’s just fair to point out that being Eurasian born in the 1980’s meant that we went through an incubation period. I think this blog should just be a monument to the shit we had to deal with. It takes thirty years for a person to cook fully and within those thirty years some of us just can’t take the heat.

Half Asian Son Alex Buckner Kills Family After Shooting Them and Setting Home on Fire; 2/26/2016

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Son Kills Family After Shooting Them and Setting Home on Firefrom today, February 26th, 2016.

I think it’s time to admit that half-Asian sons have a problem before this gets worse, and it is getting worse; this brings the tally of half Asians to make national news in 2016, to 6.

All of them with white fathers. Let me reiterate: there were 6 half-Asians in the news in the year 2016, alone.

It is February 26th, meaning we are 57 days into the year 2016, and there have been 6 major incidents that have made national news.

Six out of six of these incidents involved half Asian children with white fathers.

Six out of six.

There will be more incidents this year involving half Asians.

They will be uniformly young, more or less in Elliot Rodger’s age bracket.

All of them will have white fathers.

Read this here, on this website: each and every one of them will have a white father.

These are not black criminals committing terrible crimes; these are the sons of white men and Asian women – the supposed master-race of beautiful, talented Eurasians.

Do I need to get into why, again?

Read the blog:

the collision between race fetishism, emasculation, white supremacy, self-hatred, mental illness, cultural and racial confusion, racial bullying, isolation at being mixed race, the Asian mother bad-mouthing Asian men, lack of Asian friendships, lack of Hapa friendships, the white father’s racism, the sexual dynamics between mother and father, the colonialism, the lack of resemblance to ones own parents, and depression are routine in Hapas. Not rare, but routine.

It’s farcical how Asian women intend to instill in us a proper sense of value and self worth when our entire existence is based on how inferior the genes of Asian males are, yet we by and large resemble Asian males.

Listen to me very, very carefully. Read the following words next as if they were written by the Queen mother herself:

I know exactly what I’m talking about when I say that being mixed race is much, much more traumatic than our parents could ever realize, and we have almost no outlet and no resources at all.

The mental illness evident on the early pages of this blog are proof enough that something is amiss, not just in me – but the half-Asian demographic at large.

I am Eurasian. I am not the white man who can take and pick any Asian woman he pleases. In order for me to develop a healthy identity – I must be proud of my Asian heritage. My mother, western culture, and Asian women around me made it very, very difficult to accept myself.

I am cream of the crop – highly educated.

At my very lowest, the feeling of being so alone, so aloof, undesirable, betrayed, self-hating and confused, that I can say with accuracy that I was not in control of myself anymore. I’d hate to say it – but Eurasians are completely unique in our situation as opposed to other mixes, and we, and I – at one point – posed a danger to ourselves and those around us.