IF ASIAN WOMEN ARE WORLD-FAMOUS FOR HAVING "WHITE FEVER" AND HATING ASIAN MEN, WHAT HAPPENS WHEN THEY HAVE A SON WHO LOOKS ASIAN? WHAT HAPPENS WHEN ASIAN WOMEN SAY "NO ASIAN MEN," AND HALF ASIAN SONS HEAR THE SAME? I HAPPEN. THIS IS THE BLOG OF A DARTMOUTH EDUCATED EURASIAN SON OF A RACIST, NAZI-SYMPATHIZING, HOLOCAUST DENYING, HOMOPHOBIC CONSERVATIVE, UNDEREMPLOYED, CONSPIRACY THEORIST WHITE MAN AND A HONG KONG WOMAN WHO HAD "WHITE FEVER," DOCUMENTING THE IMMENSE DAMAGE AND ABUSE DONE OVER 20 YEARS OF LIVING UNDER ONE OF THE MOST HATEFUL, RACIST PAIRINGS ON EARTH. FORMER NEO-NAZI, FORMER EXTREME RACIST, AND YES, HALF ASIAN.
Ever notice how the more a man “likes” Asian women – the more and more he seems to hate Asian men, feminism, white women, black people, and immigrants? I thought it was true love! Ever notice how incels tend to be extreme racists against everyone, yet seem to love Asian women and yearn to travel to Asia? Ever notice how Stephen Paddock loved Asian women? Ever notice that the world’s most famous “incel,” Elliot Rodger, was half-Asian and had an extensive manifesto filled with his hatred of Asian men and White women?
Ever notice how incel boards like 4chan, /pol, and other websites have a passion for Asian women? Why? Why do these hostile, violent incels have Asian women as their number one pick?
When a white man and an Asian woman have a child – the child is an Asian man, or at best bears the same “effeminate qualities” that Asian women hate.
There is no half and half on this. Society sees you as Asian – and you see yourself as Asian, yet your mother herself expressed explicit sexual preference against Asian men.
Her “preference” reflected the preference on the whole of Asian women, white women, and virtually every other kind of woman out there. Asian women know this is true – they admit it behind closed doors that they are not attracted to Asian men.
So now, your son is Asian. Welcome to a world of extreme depression at the biological reality. Just wait until he gets shot down by Asian women and white women with “sorry, I don’t do / like Asian guys.”
Looking through Youtube I saw a number of videos and channels with half-Asian male figures. It is extremely obvious that all three of them possess “gay” mannerisms. I am not cherry picking. Just go on Youtube yourself and search “half Asian.” About half will be gay, the other half won’t look that Asian or will be extremely good looking, hence appearing on Youtube in the first place.
I fully support gay people and cast no judgment on them.
What I do suggest is happening is that half Asian women are seen by society as a lot more desirable than half Asian men. It’s no secret that women like “manly” men and by no coincidence Asian men are not seen as manly.
Half Asian men, as a result, go crazy like me, commit suicide, become violent, pass entirely as white (very rare) and settle down with an average looking Asian or white girl, or become gay, if they weren’t gay already. Half Asian women obviously marry white men the majority of the time, leaving half Asian men in the dust.
Gay half Asians are essentially just as valuable to white men as half Asian women. Straight half Asian men have a hard time even just surviving – especially when their Asian side is so harshly looked down upon, so many of them hype up their white side to no avail.
I have a theory that because of the anti-Asian male nature of the parents’ relationship, a lot of half Asian men become extremely confused sexually at a very young age, and start to undergo psychological pressure that may or may not shape their sexuality to be “feminine” like the mothers.
See for yourself. I am not actually cherry picking. This is what happens when you look up “half Asian” on Youtube. An INORDINATE amount of them seem to have these mannerisms or are perpetually single while their Hapa costars are dating white men.
The above host is small boned, clearly Asian looking, and obviously gay or bisexual.
Questionably gay as well, in his mannerisms and method of speaking.
I am a formerly well liked, handsome, outgoing, popular, Dartmouth educated Eurasian man – a literal brown haired, hazel eyed dream Hapa boy – born to a mentally ill, violent, Chinese mother who sought out marriage into the powered WASP class – but then realized too late that the man she married was an underemployed, emotionally damaged, meek, rapidly balding, hyper-racist, hyper-conservative conspiracy theorist male who was an “Asiaphile” who wanted a “traditional, chaste Asian wife who wouldn’t sleep with black men” – and she essentially killed herself. At around age 20 I encountered anti-Asian racism (ironically from Asian women in my own family and white “friends” who actually liked Asian women because they were easy) and due to inheriting my father’s entitlement to the world and being raised to be superior, I was unprepared to deal with it; I am emotionally unstable, self-loathing, deeply mentally disturbed, addicted, underemployed, have strong intimacy issues, and to this day still unable to undo the damage that the Eurasian myths and family’s racism did to me, and unable to form proper relationships due to my self-hatred instilled on me during the first 20 years of my life. Unlike other Eurasians who find self-esteem in underpaid modeling jobs, are gay, permavirgins, or leverage their half-whiteness to Asian women, my self-implosion has been broadcast to the world to the point that I am internet famous. I am not afraid to be as viciously honest as I need to be in order to speak on the reality of this world.
If you don’t think this website is valid – go to Reddit.com/r/hapas, which received 13.5 million views in 2 years, and 2 million views in the last two months. Also – find half Asians with Asian fathers and compare their behavior to those with Asian mothers.
There are very specific issues with being the children of anti-feminist, racist, unattractive white men, and self hating Asian women who try as hard as they can to integrate and create white children, due to their hatred at their marginalization, and their hatred of their undefined facial features.
There are very specific issues pertinent to the “je ne sais quoi” of white men and Asian women, and the incredibly weird, unbalanced, uncomfortable, fetishized “dynamic” of “superior White man,” and “dainty, beautiful Asian woman.”
None of these apply to the children of Asian fathers. Almost every single part-Asian that people use to justify the superiority of Half Asians involves a Half Asian with an Asian father or grandfather (or both): Keanu Reeves, Dean Cain, Brandon Lee, and his father Bruce Lee. The reason why the sons and daughters of Asian men and white women fare better is simply because they are raised to not view whiteness as a superior entity; which both of my parents did, both of them being white supremacists.
Asian women specifically hate Asian men – and hope to create Eurasian children in order to raise their status; White men use Asian women as a means to get laid, provided that they are unable to do so with non-Asian women, whereby meaning that Eurasian childrens’ only value is to look as un-Asian as possible, meaning that Eurasian children are highly prone to mental illness, extremely racist parents, and broken homes. Failing to look attractive (our primary stereotype), means that many Half Asians just look Asian – which are essentially the bottom of the barrel in the racial hierarchy in the West. This also doesn’t take into account the extreme, cruel, controlling, demeaning, calculating nature of Asian women, where they explicitly hope their children look White, so that Asian women can feel “superior” in wresting the White woman’s status and power away from her at the side of the White man.
Asian women are the ONLY race that explicitly goes out of their way to attack men of Asian appearance in an attempt to integrate and raise their own value. I do NOT like Asian women, firstly because they are physically unattractive (the fact that they look constantly angry, and the fact that they seem to have no life to their appearance, and just look like they’re always scheming), and also because their behavior is off-putting, controlling, hateful, calculating, and rude, as many others have noticed about them; they seem to pick lower status, unattractive white, and only white men, while Asian and Eurasian men will marry anyone, while Asian women only marry white males. Asian women will actually go out of their way to attack Eurasian men, as well, in a desperate attempt to bring Asian looking men down with them, and lower status, unattractive white men will use this as a ways to validate their whiteness – at the expense of anyone of Asian appearance, including Half Asian men. Asian women will attempt to control their Asian looking sons’ dating choices – pushing them towards Asian women; while white men who marry Asian women will act upon their insecurity and lack of control of their marriage, and lash out at Asian men, black men, and white women. Asian women are so unattractive that they pursue bottom of the barrel men of all races, men who are unable to get White women (their first choices), putting Half Asian children in danger. They will also go out of their way to ensure their flimsy “status,” my assaulting or attacking non-Asian women who are sympathetic to or even date Asian men, out of fear that the equal status of Asian men will reveal that Asian women are in fact not as good as they think they are.
Even Kip Fulbeck, king of all Hapas, admitted that the Hapa male process of self-hatred is such a problem, that it should be a cause for concern.
Imagine being raised by two racists – your own parents. Your own mother wanted a white man, yet here you are – a half Asian, a man who looks very Asian. Except you have a white father. Is it possible to raise a healthy child considering the loaded, white-worshipping nature of yellow fever and white fever? How can a biracial child be expected to be normal if he looks Asian, and the entire basis of his parents’ relationship was that the man not be Asian? How can Asian women outmarry at such high rates, have an open ‘white fetish,’ and expect Asian looking sons to be emotionally well adjusted?
In short: I am the son of a foreign born Asian woman from Hong Kong who deliberately married a tall (6’3″, skinny), red-haired, blue eyed, bearded white man. She, like many Asian women, sought out a man who had a “Western” background so that she could feel integrated into her new home, and better than her fully Asian peers. She was by and large mentally ill, violent, abusive, cruel towards my father when he wasn’t making enough money, extremely controlling, and had self-image issues, changing her entire appearance to “look white.” She did not and never did love my father, and only used him because he was white; their entire marriage was violent, loveless (father sleeping on the floor for fifteen years), and calculating.
This man (a semi-famous paleoconservative Homophobic activist on par with the Westboro Baptist Church) was interested in Asian culture and married because he was socially unable to marry a white or non-Asian woman due to his political beliefs and personality quirks (he is very socially conservative, very racist against blacks, Hispanics and Muslims, a Holocaust denier and anti-Semite, extremely over the top homophobic, very shy, not many friends, belief that white women are too liberated, extremely distasteful of feminism, extremely meek and unable to make eye contact with others, steps off the sidewalk when larger men approach, unwilling to work or make money for fear of violating Christian scripture). His interest in Asian culture was largely dictated by his personality – in which he idealized Asian cultures as being more honorable and traditional, and mistook “white worship” (a cultural tick in which Asian women see themselves as less beautiful than white women and marry white men for status and integration), for “traditionalism” and “submissiveness.”
I was raised largely as a white child, yet turned more Asian in appearance with age. I was raised in an environment that had an undercurrent of anti-Asian male racism (America), saw Asian women (including five out of six of them in my own family, all of them, including my own parents divorced or separated – my mother being dead) throw themselves at white men (the majority of whom are racists, Republicans, or short and or meek), and also an over-current of false Eurasian myths about beauty and intelligence. I subconsciously always believed myself to be “less” because my own mother and her sisters all were married to white men and adamantly denied I was Asian for a decade.
My parents’ relationship, as was the case in every single one of my female relatives, was loveless, violent and broken due to her disillusionment with my father after ten years as he failed to make enough money, and grew balder and fatter and no longer lived up to the White male Prince Charming she had wanted (separate bedrooms, forced to sleep on the couch, extreme violent fighting). My brother and I suffered extreme psychological and physical abuse (beaten with coat hangers by our mother, Tiger Mommed, had her threaten to kill herself with a butcher knife in front of us, threatened to crash the car with us in it while driving at 90 mph), and her behavior became worse and worse as she realized that her white husband wasn’t making as much money as her brother and sister, who both married Chinese partners. This is a story of someone who was very sick, and in recovery.
The behavior of Asian women, in particular, is like nothing else on earth, to the point that you can see the majority of all stories about abusive parents on Reddit’s AsianParentStories sub – complain about the mothers, including the second generation Asian mothers – like Amy Chua – who metamorphosize into the Tiger Mothers that they hate, despite claiming to hate Asian men. Celeste Ng, a New York Times best-selling author, personally attacked me, after I pointed out that her book “Everything I Never Told You” was based on the broken WMAF families in her friends’ circle, yet she had written it about a family involving an Asian father. Asian women have proven themselves to be extremely hostile against non-Asian women, something out of their deep self-loathing and cultural proclivity towards integration and status, wherein love is secondary if not nonexistent in favor of maintaining status, face, and power over women who they view, deep down, as more beautiful than them. They will even go so far as to attack Asian male / non-Asian female couples, and force their Eurasian children (like me) to marry Asian, in an attempt to maintain an image of false superiority over non-Asian women; (e.g., that Asian women are the most beautiful, when they are not, and heavily rely on yellow fever and male desperation for their feeling of integration and desirability).
When I got older, despite the fact that society told me that I was “unique” for being Eurasian, I was treated with contempt by both white people AND Asian people; Asian women would often express disgust at me for being Asian (scowling at me on the street, or smirking), and white people would constantly remind me that I was Asian in a way to demean and undermine me. Several of my “friends,” who were engineers and nerdy, actually would take every opportunity to remind me of my Asianness, while sleeping with Asian women, as Asian women were all they could get. This caused me to self implode from a popular, outgoing Eurasian to becoming a recluse and suicidal. My insanity grew more and more pervasive as I fantasized about cutting out my eyes to make them deeper, refused to look in the mirror for five years,
Two years after writing the below, I am leaving it word for word, as I wrote it, as proof of how I felt and feelings I still struggle with as a male of Asian heritage who clearly looks Asian, born to a mother who thought of Asian men as beneath her. I am highly educated, formerly well liked, popular, handsome, out going and like many Eurasians I burned out in my twenties with the realization that people, even Asian women in my Asian family,hate my Asian side,so now I’ve turned my talents towards exposing the last bastion of White supremacy in the world as candidly as I can. I am literally dissectingWhite male / Asian women couples and the Eurasian identity to a degree that nobody else ever has.
I actually moved to China (which saved my life) in order to escape racism and feelings of inferiority – and was shocked on learning that my own mother (and many other Chinese) had moved to America in order to find the American dream – a dream that hated me for my Asian blood.
I highly recommend that any potential parent to half-Asian children make sure that they are marrying on a clean slate – with zero fetishism, zero white-worship, and zero undertones of racial hierarchies – and that they be completely honest about this, to avoid sending more young man down the path that I went. Hapa males in particular need special consideration due to the fact that we have zero privilege, and yet are raised by two people who want privilege without having to do any of the work.
I am doing this for every single half-Asian kid out there who has committed suicide, thought about suicide, suffered from racism, isolation, outcasting, and had two parents whose entire relationship was nothing but lust, selfishness, even hatred – leaving us with nothing but perpetual isolation. The world does not care about Hapa males if you look average or even a little bit Asian. The world – even Asian women, who truly believe that they are white – only care about whiteness and white men.
Saw these comments on my blog posted elsewhere on the web.
Asian women preferring white men, and outright rejecting men of their own race, is strange and even seems unnatural, but I’m not a psychiatrist or anthropologist. I would think that people would instinctively prefer their own race/ethnicity for group association and especially bond-pairing and having children. Could this behavior be considered a mental illness? How much of this is learned behavior (e.g., social programming/conditioning) and how much is biological or instinctive?
You guys seem to underestimate the psychological toll of being mixed race, and also having WMAW shoved in your face. Think it emasculates Asian men? It fucks us up more.
What’s the problem here? You know for a fact for so many Asian women to openly despise Asian men, that there’s something going on. So why would your own sons be different?
Because you’re a “good father?” Because you encourage them to “work out?” Because Asian men have never worked out before?
By oversimplifying it you guys really, really, REALLY took a huge gamble. The next few decades should be interesting.
You guys missed the big point: Asian women are actively rejecting Asian men in droves, both in Asia and the West. Why on earth do you think this can be surmounted with petty advice? Will or will not your own son be Asian?
I can believe a chunk of it – and how it could possibly screw someone up.
As I laid it out for Quartermain on my blog, nobody actually knows the mental processes and social background of those girls who chase western men. After all: if your mom is nuts, and projects that nuttiness onto you, you’re going to go just a little bit weird and loopy in many ways as a natural consequence.
Which is going to be “interesting” for the children of single mommies. Especially the male children.
There are obviously exceptions, however the examples I know of happen exactly like described. I knew a couple of Thai girls who were half British and they had an amazing time at university living in Australia getting invited everywhere and talked to by both Thai and whites.
One of their brothers came over thinking Australia was welcoming and found himself always tagging along with his big sister because no one wanted to know him on his own.
He dropped out, gained 40kg and moved back in with his parents and is a stoner/gamer.
His sister married a successful Thai businessman and goes to all the big corporate functions as a trophy wife.
He was a nice enough guy, just the whole introverted shy Asian thing is much more attractive in girls than it is in guys.
I’ve mentioned this several times on my blog. If you don’t believe me, my dad has adamantly denied the Holocaust, has made comments about Jews being the anti-Christ incarnate, loved HAM radio and conspiracy theory radio shows, etc. He also has virtually no friends, etc.
Doing research today it turned out that Bobby Fischer, probably the most famous chess champion of all time, was also married to a Philipino woman and to a Japanese woman.
Is this coincidental? Is it coincidental that the majority of the time when you find a white man with a “passion” for Asian woman, he generally has conservative viewpoints, i.e., hates Islam, the Islamic takeover of Europe, hates western women, hates feminism, blacks, “mudsharks” (i.e., women who sleep with black men), and overall tends towards the right (as broad as the term is)?
Obviously not all white men involved with Asian women are like that, but this is a nice little tidbit that I think can help explain the imbalance.
From Fischer’s Wikipedia biography:
Fischer made numerous anti-Jewish statements and professed a general hatred for Jews since at least the early 1960s. Jan Hein Donner wrote that at the time of Bled 1961, “He idolized Hitler and read everything about him that he could lay his hands on. He also championed a brand of anti-semitism that could only be thought up by a mind completely cut off from reality”. Donner took Fischer to a war museum, which “left a great impression, since [Fischer] is not an evil person, and afterwards he was more restrained in his remarks—to me, at least.”
Although Fischer described his mother as Jewish in a 1962 interview, he later denied his Jewish ancestry. In 1984, Fischer denied being a Jew in a letter to the Encyclopaedia Judaica, insisting that they remove his name and accusing them of “fraudulently misrepresenting me to be a Jew […] to promote your religion”.
From the 1980s on, Fischer’s comments about Jews were a major theme in his public and private remarks. He openly denied the Holocaust, and called the United States “a farce controlled by dirty, hook-nosed, circumcised Jew bastards”.  Between 1999 and 2006, Fischer’s primary means of communicating with the public was radio interviews. He participated in at least 34 such broadcasts, mostly with radio stations in the Philippines, but also in Hungary, Iceland, Colombia, and Russia. In 1999, he gave a radio call-in interview to a station in Budapest, Hungary, during which he described himself as the “victim of an international Jewish conspiracy”. In another radio interview, Fischer said that it became clear to him in 1977, after reading The Secret World Government by Count Cherep-Spiridovich, that Jewish agencies were targeting him. Fischer’s sudden reemergence was apparently triggered when some of his belongings, which had been stored in a Pasadena, California storage unit, were sold by the landlord who claimed it was in response to nonpayment of rent.
Fischer’s library contained anti-semitic and racist literature such as Mein Kampf, The Protocols of the Elders of Zion, and The White Man’s Bible and Nature’s Eternal Religion by Ben Klassen, founder of the World Church of the Creator.A notebook written by Fischer contains sentiments such as “8/24/99 Death to the Jews. Just kill the Motherfuckers!” and “12/13/99 It’s time to start randomly killing Jews”. Despite his views, Fischer remained on good terms with Jewish chess players.
A notebook written by Fischer contains sentiments such as “8/24/99 Death to the Jews. Just kill the Motherfuckers!” and “12/13/99 It’s time to start randomly killing Jews”
Self hatred is mental illness; trying to look like another race is mental illness; valuing another race over ones own is mental illness, and this all leads to mentally ill, half-Asian children, because they are not white, but rather, half-Asian children born to an Asian woman who thought whiteness was better, and had the tools to get access to a white man.
Just now during lunch I saw a commercial featuring two Asian women holding half-Asian babies. Obviously the children were not theirs but they were somebody’s.
What’s alarming to me is the rate that Asian women use their half Asian children as social currency. Many of them, on the social app called “Mei Pai”, show off their half Asian children as evidence of being progressive, when in actuality Asian culture is extremely status conscious, and having a half-white child would be an immediate way to one-up ones peers, and even people they don’t know.
Also, since many of the Asian women are extremely status-driven, (my mother was a cold-blooded careerist from an extremely successful Hong Kongese family and my dad still hates her elder brother, constantly telling me how empty he is despite being worth some several hundred million), marrying a white European man was the best way to accomplish her goals, despite the fact that she never actually loved him. In fact, I don’t recall once in my life that my mother said “I love you” to either my father or us, and for the entire time that I can recall (having been together for 20 years), they neither slept in the same room, showed any sort of affection, or displayed any kind of behavior other than one of violence and open disgust, despite my father continuing to claim this day to have loved her.
So, similarly, on Meipai, you never see the white father in the pictures, rather, only the baby. Similarly, Singaporean blogger Xiaxue is the same way. The child itself is a commodity, praised for our beauty, and then essentially left on our own to raise ourselves, since our mothers were largely irrational sociopaths that couldn’t conceptualize being mixed race beyond “white skin, light eyes,” and our fathers were aloof opportunists who took advantage of Asian culture’s ills (like self-hatred) to get laid.
I went through a photo album last night of my family and two things stuck out to me; 1) my mother had dyed her hair red, and wore colored contacts, to the point that when she wore sunglasses, she actually looked like a dark skinned white woman; 2) she also looked like she weighed 70 pounds since apparently this is a technique that some Asian women use to look whiter. 3) She never, ever, ever went near my father in any of the photos.
It’s literally the worst of both worlds getting together.
One, a woman whose self-hatred and / or hate for Asian culture and Asian men is so intense that she deliberately sought out a white man for “beautiful babies”, status, or bragging rights.
Two, a white man who usually was too socially inept and also morally repugnant enough to impregnate a woman who refused to be with an Asian man.
Needless to say, is this healthy for the children? No.
Will all Hapas suffer? No. But will many suffer? Time will tell.
At this point I am just putting out these posts to fill the gaps in the search engines for these issues, hence the excessive tagging… for a long time coming. The point of this site is to exist for at least another decade, and my ultimate goal is to make this into the premier website on half-Asian issues, replace all previous discussion of half-Asian issues (e.g., the Kip Fulbeck Camp, Hapavoices, etc.) and so far everything is going according to plan.
I need to reiterate that my dad is racist. He very much hates black people; when buying a Christmas gift yesterday I had to avoid making a certain purchase because I didn’t want to buy a very well known brand owned by a very prominent rapper (now owned by Apple). I went with a lesser known brand because I knew he would never use the aforementioned “black brand.”
My father is also a Holocaust denier, constantly talks about the immigrant crisis in Syria, refers to black people as “the blacks,” so on and so forth. Luckily he’s not a Trump supporter as he believes that Trump is overcome with greed – an anti-Christian principle.
Luckily my dad was never racist against Asians, but apparently there are a lot of white men in relationships with Asian women who hate Asian men even worse. The potential blowback for this is massive.
Anyways, racist white men often times seek out Asian women. Why?
A) Asian women are well known to defer to white men, rarely to black men.
B) Asian women are known for their “traditional values”; i.e., they love living in white countries, and are outspoken in their hatred for black people and are not notorious as white women (although this is a myth) for sleeping with black men.
C) Like Dylan Roof said, Asians are an “honorable race.” Hence their women are honorable women. The only basis for their “honor” would be their perceived value of whiteness.
D) White men with extreme racist views cannot attract white women; so they go for Asian women, who will forgive their views in exchange for whiter babies, (likely before summarily dropping their husbands, like mother did). The whiter babies will then be raised as white, like Marcus Epstein.
E) The largest irony is that Asians are seen as “genetically the most similar” to whites, (my dad has told me that “East and West are the same”), so the children have a much higher chance of looking white (or in my case, whitish), so it’s essentially killing two birds with one stone.
Do not fall for this! I will make sure this website dominates Google rankings from here on in to ensure that these crimes do not go unpunished! If you know people like this, cut them out of your life, but do not blame the children.
When you have a son, your privilege as a blue-eyed white male is thrown out the door.
Whereas, if your partner were constantly complimenting your blue eyes, your son will not be able to leverage his blue eyes in order to secure a mate. He will instead have to rely on different factors, and since the number of women, including Asian women, who openly favor Asian men, is much lower, this will be damaging to his emotional well-being. For every Asian woman who deliberately rejected Asian men, so forth will your Eurasian son be rejected. My clash with my monumental ego and narcissism, years back, where I was literally obsessed with my looks, sent me into a rage when I was rejected by a white woman for being Asian (I’ve mentioned this many times before).
On “beautiful Hapa babies.”
This is by and large a lie. All babies are universally cute, but this does not translate to being an attractive male. A desire for a beautiful baby is essentially on par with having a pet; hence you see many divorced Asian women (divorced largely because of their insane behavior, like my mother’s, wherein the child is part of a fantasy) using their children as status symbols. My mother constantly showed me off to her siblings and mentioned my tall nose and deep eyes whereas ostracizing my father, but again, this does not translate to necessary success in the future; it is borderline narcissism wherein the love for the child is not love per se, but love as long as [qualifications] exist.
If you do a youtube search for “half asian babies” you will find a number bragging about how their children have blue eyes; despite this being impossible, the idea that such white worship is prevalent is extremely, extremely troublesome.
My case was unusual. My mother seemed to like my brother more than me despite him being black haired, black eyed. She Tiger Mommed him more than me, but less cruelly; I began to think that it was because I was either born via C-section or because I didn’t look like her, or even some kind of resentment towards me. My memory doesn’t go back that far so I can’t figure out the reason for this yet.
On “beauty;” In fact, any person who will want to make the distinction (i.e., a person who doesn’t like Asians) will not differentiate between full Asian and half, even if you don’t look Asian. Go on any website discussing white looking Eurasians like Adam Smith or Cary Fukunaga, and the comments are there.
I’ve come across many Hapas who complained of feeling embarrassed while walking with their parents. I have experienced this too, but moreso, more when walking with my father (as my mother is dead).
Regardless of their intentions, (and I know my parents’ were bad), the assumptions made that my father was an Asiaphile, a loser, or couldn’t get a white woman are there. In my case, they were true, but I don’t think most people bother to differentiate when it’s so common. Obviously, there will be exceptions to this rule, particularly among less intelligent Hapas, like my brother.
It’s frankly impossible for a Eurasian to not notice the interracial imbalance unless they come from entirely white states.
I think many Eurasians that you meet on the street, especially the tall, good looking ones, tend to favor White women (if they can) out of a subconscious rejection of the “white-fever” and “yellow-fever” they are associated with by extension, in any major American city. Another thing could be their rejection of their Asian side, as it is obvious to them that looking Asian is frankly a death sentence. Part of me thinks that Eurasian women do this too, mostly out of a repugnance for their own mothers… if you go read some of the comments on this blog, there are a ton of Eurasian girls complaining about emotional abuse from their mothers.
Since reddit.com/r/hapas, the repository for Hapa shit, might be closed down eventually I will start cataloguing the horror stories I find on there. I’ll be focusing on just using my website as a way to save all the conversation there.
So I know that this group is mixedasians, so I presume that people posting here are already fairly into their Asian side.
I’m half European Jewish and half Chinese.
I think I look half Asian at best, I’m getting that a lot more since I got my hair chemically straightened and it has no volume hahaha.
But, I feel way more Chinese inside than Jewish. I barely feel Jewish at all. I don’t talk to my father (Jewish one), and didn’t grow up in that community. I grew up in a very Asian-American suburb in the SF Bay Area. I know I don’t look that Asian, but I feel it a lot more inside.
I have a fair amount of angst of not being accepted by people who are like “YOU CAN’T BE ASIAN NO WAY GET OUT OF HERE!”, but there’s also plenty of people who accept me and see me for what I believe I am. As I’ve gotten older, I’ve learned to not care as much, but I still feel strange at times.
My favorite book is “The Unwanted” by Kien Nguyen, about growing up Amerasian during the Vietnam war.
I’ve toyed with the idea of learning more about my father’s culture, but I also have some extreme grudges against Jewish-American men and how some have a fixation on Asian women (I also want to work on this, but frankly, I’ve got bigger fish to fry when it comes to self-improvement). My father was very violent, abusive, sexist, and racist, and has a thing for Asian women, especially ones who just came here and don’t speak English. He ruined my mother’s life and crushed her dreams of a good life in America.
I generally just haven’t had amazing experiences with the Jewish-American community, although I do admit they are few and far between. My father’s family isn’t abusive and crazy like he is, but they are very distant. Although they are not straight up cold and admit it is a shame that my father was so terrible to me and my mom, one relative made a comment that he would not fill in the place/take the role of my father or a close relative since he isn’t one, although I could email him anytime!!!. It really hurts that they don’t care about staying in touch with me, and just have this occasional email relationship with me, more or less.
On the other hand, my cousins on my mom’s family don’t speak fluent english but have reached out to befriend me, and I talk to one of them every day and consider him a close friend/the brother I didn’t have, although he lives on the other side of the world.
I experienced a tragic loss, and am currently looking to find religion. Although neither of my parents have any background in the Christian faith, I am thinking most in joining a Christian church. I have been to a Jewish service before when visiting an uncle, and I found it to be cold and uninteresting. They just didn’t seem welcoming if you weren’t already in.