“My son is half-Asian, and he’s handsome.”

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Your handsome half Asian son.

Here’s a question. Are there handsome Asian men? Yes or no.

Here’s another question. Did your wife want them? Nope, she did not. Do white women want them? Nope, they do not. Don’t believe me? Just look up any study on online dating.

So why the hell would anyone want a handsome half Asian when they could just get a handsome full Asian?

The “beautiful Hapa” mixed baby myth is essentially nothing but that, a myth. I will explain why in a logical manner.

Even if Hapas are good looking, the fact remains that your treatment still depends on how Asian you look. “I know well adjusted Hapas,” means you know Hapas who pass entirely as white.

I have noticed in my life that despite some women considering me good looking, calling me gorgeous, handsome, dashing and beautiful, there are still women that disregarded me entirely for my race and told me so. Why exactly I would differentiate between the hurt this caused me, and the fact the my mother was the same way – makes no sense to me. Why would I look at my parents and not automatically think “white worship” when I myself have experienced discrimation?

I recognize her and the women in my family as being just as repulsive. People here REALLY think that a half Asian son is able to look at his mother and father and NOT see a woman who rejected all Asian men, worshipped white men, and a man who leveraged his whiteness to get laid? You really think we Eurasian sons don’t look at an Asian mom, White dad, as an almost living parody of the stereotype of the western man and his geisha submissive bride? (Notwithstanding in my case my dad was legitimately a conservative weirdo and my mother an insane, status grubbing woman with dyed hair and colored contacts).

Newsflash: We ALL think like this, though we’d never tell you.

Also, for almost a decade I would look at repulsion at my Asian features in the mirror and had a borderline paranoia at looking Asian to the extent I considered dying my hair blond and wearing colored contacts. I would even cut my hair short for a decade for a fear of its natural dark brown / black color to come out. I wouldn’t even let anyone photograph me – let alone photograph me from the side, because my side profile vaguely represented that of an Asian man, and tell me exactly why I would want to be an Asian man?

I refused to look at photos in which I looked Asian (which I DEFINITELY DO) and would instantly balk and sulk at someone making a comment about how I looked Asian. This is DESPITE me living in China where I feel less paranoid about my appearance, but still get stared at by locals and treated as an outsider because of my unusual looks.

The fact remains that there are good looking Asian men – and Asian women are still rejecting them in favor of attractive, unattractive or ugly white men, which indicates that it isn’t the looks that is so much at issue but that white blood that is valued in us.

So essentially we’re told from birth that to look Asian as a man is to be incredibly disadvantaged even with the women that we would otherwise be able to use as a fallback if non-Asian women didn’t want us. So even Asian women don’t want Asian men – yet we look Asian, so how fucked are we?

Even if I were attractive, which I assume I am by what people have told me, I would still be vehemently opposed to anyone, or any woman, who told me that white men are better candidates for making babies than Asian men.

Why would I believe a woman (or my mother in this case) who told me that race wasn’t the issue, when all indications, especially the overall behavior of Asian women, indicates that this is the issue?

How the HELL could I ever accept this attitude from a woman – even my own mother and women in my family?

How the HELL could this ever lead to a mentally healthy attitude development in a Hapa child?

How the HELL could I possibly ever come to terms, now or later, with the undeniable fact that the womb that birthed me believed that white men – even one with less qualifications than an Asian man – would make a better father / sperm donor / partner than an Asian man?

And what people don’t realize is that half-Asians, in the eyes of most people, men and women, are still Asians.

People who make those distinctions, make no distinction between full and half, which is why Elliot Rodger still was unable to achieve the natural confidence that came with being fully white, and snapped because he was never treated as something he believed he was treated as.

This, what you read here, is the ultimate affirmation of a specific kind of psychosis that will manifest in Eurasian men more often than not, and I expect there to be more outbursts or otherwise negative behavioral patterns in Eurasians – even handsome Eurasians.

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Another handsome Eurasian son. Yale student turned drug dealer. 

Essentially, the issue here is one of extreme nihilism: Asian women only value WHITENESS in their partners – to the extent that they grossly disregard personal development, character and intelligence, and this attitude, one that is at the same time, extremely lax towards white behavior, and stringent in its requirements for whiteness, is one that causes as massive, massive, massive dichotomy in the child, assuming he is straight, proud of who he is and determined to find a strong identity.

So now your half Asian son will be bullied, called a small dick chink, reminded of how he is Asian – and even worse, reminded of how millions upon millions upon MILLIONS of women who look like his mother hated Asian features. Good job folks, you’ve done it!

 

Interesting Post: “Of the Hapas I’ve Known”

A user named MDNzyzy just posted this on /r/Hapas. You can check his history if you think I made this up.

First hapa I met was a kid in HS with a Japanese dad and a white mom. Dude was a badass, fucked with the hottest girls and did the ballsiest skate tricks (like ollying 12 stairs). He played soccer for our school and during a match, HEADBUTTED a white opponent for saying racist shit to him.

Second hapa I met was in freshman year of college. He was half viet half american (I think). His mom was viet, dad was white, but he kept his viet name cause his dad abandoned or parents divorced, not sure. Let me tell you – this kid was FUCKED UP. He often would mutter about killing everyone in the Quad (dorms), socially dysfunctional, and from what i heard – masturbated even when his roommate was STILL in the room. No sense of hygiene whatsoever.

The third hapa i’ve been great friends with for 5 years. He was the drummer of my band and half-flip half-white (WMAF parents). He exclusively dates full or partially flip girls (by choice or because of limited options, I can’t say). His dad is friendly enough and his mom can’t cook for shit because she had to accommodate her husband’s white-bread taste buds for 20+ years.

In any case, just thought i’d share. Been lurking for a few weeks.

Pinpoint accurate even right down to the comment about the Filipino moms which I mentioned a while back.

Another user wrote:

Sounds typical. To outsiders it may seem we bash wmaf and promote amwf, but it is rooted in truth.

I remember an amwf chinese-white kid at my old highschool, looked him up on linkedin, turns out he became valedictorian went to princeton and now is at stanford for grad school. The amwf japanese-white kid on my soccer team now is playing semi-pro soccer.

Whereas the wmaf kids i knew, work at bestbuy and petsmart and/or just fell off the face of the earth.

Didn’t I write that I fell off the face of the earth at the beginning of this blog?

As I said, Eurasians with Asian fathers are able to manage their half-Asian looks and treatment by society; Asians with white fathers live with perpetual knowledge that their own flesh and blood mothers were “one of those” deliberately attacking Asian men and Asian culture.

You think I’m making this up? How on earth would a white man and an Asian woman who hate Asian men be capable of raising an Asian looking child?

People need to do me a favor. If you find this blog, spread the word before more people get hurt. Please. You really have no idea what’s coming.

This shit needs to be straightened out before whatever is coming, comes. And it’s already coming. I have verbalized as best as I could the issue of mixed race mental issues. There are probably hundreds upon hundreds of thousands of mixed race Asians out there with similar issues but with nobody to reach out to.

News Article from 200 describes a Half-Asian Son of a Korean woman as having “never accepted his Asian ancestry and wished his mother dead for having had him.”

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How about this news article from 2000?

Original here:

“The inherent evil of Woldt is not in question – his own mother is Korean and apparently Woldt never accepted his Asian ancestry and wished his mother dead for having had him.”

More here:

So… another Eurasian who snapped due to a combination of being raised under a white-worshipping Asian mother and a patronizing white father who tries to raise us as being white.

People don’t recognize that the world might see Woldt as white – but he doesn’t. And even worse is that people can smell the Asian blood on you, and will humiliate it for you. I’ve had women straight up tell me “you have an Asian body,” “I don’t date Asian men,” etc.

Explain to me, dear reader, right, now how Asian women that adamantly refuse Asian men, fail to instill pride in their own children in their Asian appearance (and even if they did attempt to, their actions still prove louder than their words) are going to raise productive citizens.

“Oh but white guys have problems too.” White guys have problems and also don’t deal with debilitating sexual stereotypes. Let’s be honest.

This site is well on its way to being the largest half-Asian website in the world, and yet nobody has attempted to shut me down at all with lucid arguments.

 

The incredible dangerous gamble of being Hapa

I’ve noticed several things about being Hapa and the kinds of people I’ve come into contact with recently.

There are so called “happy Hapas;” they tend to be… less intelligent and or completely non-Asian looking. A lot of them curiously have Phillipino mothers, meaning that their mothers were largely opportunists, with a Catholic background, rather than vitriolic atheist self haters.

If you are good looking, like Daniel Henney, or if you look entirely white, or if you are very tall, like Nathan Adrian, then I suppose you’d be okay. What possible reason could a white looking Hapa or passing Hapa have for considering these things?

And if you aren’t? If your child isn’t white passing, good looking, or tall? Then we get Elliot Rodger or Matthew De Grood. 

One thing I have noticed is a prevalence of gay Hapas. Darren Criss and the famous “hot cop of the Castro District” Chris Kohrs, both of whom are obviously gay but hiding it for fear of offending their parents, have little room to consider the implications of being an Asian male who is emasculated.

Could it be the psychosis of watching such a terrible racial dynamic play out in the homestead affect them to the point of becoming asexual or homosexual?

What happens when the son looks entirely or visible Asian in a society that hates Asians, with his own emasculation played out in front of his face, from the time he is born?

The cost of whiteness; and other thoughts 

Since the blog’s readership is increasing, I figured I would write a bit on some subjects for anyone interested; I think there are a bunch of full Asians reading this blog so I’ll leave some advice for them too.

On whiteness:

It’s obvious to me now that Asian women are willing to overlook monumental character flaws in order to achieve whiteness – through their kids. I don’t need to really elaborate on this since you can see it when going outside. My father is and was so far engrained in paleoconservative conspiracies that he left New York and his job, his 401k, because of his seething hatred of Jews and belief that the apocalypse was happening after 9/11.

Not to say that all white males are like this, but it definitely says something that Asian women so vastly prefer white men that they disregard the fact that Asian men have the highest income in the U.S.

My mom’s sisters (she has three) are all successful; one married and divorced from a tall white guy, and is now with another one and childless (I suspect this is because she saw how my brother and I turned out). The other two sisters married Asian men in their 20’s and now are very wealthy, with millions if not hundred millions.

My father is sleeping every night on the floor of a one bedroom apartment in the loft of a refurbished farm house in a rural town in one of the poorest states in the country.

And what benefit did it give me? Mental illness, cultural confusion, self hatred, exclusion from white social circles, exclusion from rising China, and exclusion from the same culture that I was raised to believe valued me for both my “hapaness” and my Chineseness. When I was younger I passed as white (and even in my 20’s took pride in it to an extreme – i.e., Stormfront membership) but the minute that I was recognized as Chinese I started spiraling into depression; I didn’t even look at photographs of myself and still don’t out of fear of looking Asian. Being used for my white face by family members – and then ten minutes later being told “you look Chinese,” was a pretty big source of strife in my life well until I was 24.

On Hapa life:

The entire shtick of being hapa is that Hapas are somehow wonderful, beautiful additions to the American tapestry. The reality is that America is extremely racist and Asian women get a pass from this because they can utilized their bodies to ensure survival. This isn’t anything different from the age-old conquest of cities and the assimiliation of the conquered women. (You can’t tell me that millions of Americans love to watch shows like Game of Thrones that involve human brutality then go about their lives pretending that that brutality exists in real life, on a daily basis; once again, the hypocrisy of Americans).

This would be a good idea if human beings were animals. Instead these Asian women are creating children who are expected to accept that Asian men are implicitly inferior and that it is perfectly normal for Asian women to prefer white men.

The entire premise of life, then, becomes stupid.

On the good Asian wife:

The “good” Asian woman stereotype, that my father bought into, is manufactured by Asian women to appeal to a higher class of men. They know they come off as higher value than white women and use it to secure higher quality sperm; after the child is born the marriage quickly becomes sexless and nagging and money based. Again, read my fucking blog to learn more about the marriage of my mother and father.

On struggle:

I suggest full Asians don’t really worry about this shit and just enjoy their lives. These women are creating essentially a fifth column in America (if the child himself isn’t cuckolded to the max like most Americans who slap around in sandals pretending “it’s all good”). It’s your parents fault for getting married and creating life that betrayed you; embrace antinatalism and problem solved. When I was at my lowest and within five minutes of killing myself (which you can see at the beginning of this blog), it was a gradual return to normalcy when I realized that at least I had fucking food to eat.

On the differences in types of AW/WM:

In Asia proper there are a number of Asian women who seek white males as a way to strike back at a culture they think has wronged them for their (poor) looks. (Some guy posted this video on reddit). My response:

What I do dislike is the actual good looking women who idealize western culture as a way to climb up in the world and / or fetishize tall white males for whatever reason (biological probbablly). To an extent, I personally think my mother was not attractive objectively, but I can understand how she would be “passable”. She wasn’t unattractive, maybe a 6/10. But she fetishized western culture very hard, and essentially because her father was abusive, she wound up with a white guy whose potential for success was muccccchhhhhh lower than the Asian men her sisters married.

There’s a lot of these girls with white boyfriends who use their boyfriends to increase status, like becoming youtube / youku stars, or using their kids for more views on Weibo, etc. I see decent looking girls with white guys sometimes, and they’re always either shopping, or making a very public display of their relationship. Even if the white male doesn’t admit it the relationship is still hinged on the fact that he is white, not on any personal growth or personal qualities. And after seeing this so many times is when a light went off in my head about my parents’ relationship and their dysfunctions became quite clear to me.

It’s funny because when you see women like that, the husband is rarely in the photograph (often stuck in a sexless marriage), with the child being shown off like an accessory. I was in a similar situation when I was young. Some of the photos are on my blog and in them you can see my father is essentially physically separated from my mother in all of the photos.

(I only posted a couple pics with faces blurred out because I don’t want to hurt my father).

Am I a Fully Asian Man?

So a lot of people have contrarily been claiming that I am either Asian, or fully White (which makes even less sense).

The truth is I don’t think I could mentally handle being fully Asian. I admit that I am partially biased after moving to China in an attempt to work and start a new life, under the assumption that I would be accepted.

When I first arrived in China, I was oddly enough in a phase where I believed that I was white – I thought literally by some divine miracle that I had managed to be totally white despite having an Asian mother. (I mean that I really believed this. I thought God had somehow “chosen” me; i.e., mental illness).

It was then later that I was constantly called “laowai”, and viewed as being a foreigner that I became self conscious; after that, I became more and more aware of the fact that as I got older, I looked more and more Asian, and when I photographed pictures, I looked Asian. When I gelled my hair – people would mistake me for fully Chinese, or at least “you look like a Chinese” (in broken English).

It then dawned on me why for so long I had attempted to hide my heritage and if indeed I was privileged – but yet not privileged as the blue eyed / blond haired men that are fabled to run around Asia getting thousands of lays.

It then dawned on me that the combination of all of these factors found their root in having a mother who was just like the Asian women I saw around me who chased foreigners; my insecurity and flirtation with white supremacy all stemmed from a deep seated self hatred and from the lack of having parents who were able to instill proper self esteem in me, and even if they had the subconscious micro aggressions that I as a Hapa receive from White males and Asian women around me are a constant reminded of exactly who I am, and who I am not.

Frankly it DOES NOT MAKE SENSE that a Hapa child can have healthy development since these relationships are so common and often times so vile; and I challenge anyone to really answer the question why these relationships are so common and how the children born from them are able to be raised by two people so diametrically opposed to their own self interests.

On The Reality of Being Mixed Race

Being mixed race actually sucks a huge amount, and I believe this relates back to the primitive urges and desires and psyche that exists in every last human being, regardless if we admit this or not. But more importantly, in the real world, being mixed is simply the result of two young people idealizing the other’s culture and appearance, and having kids, who are then excluded from economic, social and romantic opportunities that both parents found easily because of their privilege (White men and Asian women are extremely privileged in society).

I suggest this be read by both whites, Asians, and mixed race people. I will try to keep this objective.

I am quite resentful about certain things and while it is normal for people to be resentful I do imagine that life can be simplified when we maintain the status quo as defined by nature; despite it being good for ones ego to be validated by another race (of men or women) the effects on the child are well documented, yet completely ignored.

Most people really do believe that being a Hapa is some kind of blessing – but the people that say this are people who are not mixed, or people who went through periods of extreme confusion and stress to only come out of it with a renewed mentality.

In my case, I went through a period of having no stress (I was crazy, but didn’t pinpoint it to my race) – to arriving at the conclusion that being mixed absolutely sucks.

The myth of the “beautiful Hapa” was only engineered as a justification for people with trans-racial lust and fetishization. Note that the claim that all Hapas are beautiful and intelligent is extremely racist since it implies that they are better because they have white blood.

This blog has been up for quite a while and I don’t think I’ve ever received a proper response to the questions posed – namely how a male child is supposed to function when born under the conditions of power and imbalance between the races that favor the white male and disfavor the Asian male;

The only response I did receive was one that said that I should use my “white blood” to my advantage; ironically in doing so I could probably achieve more in life, but it would be a betrayal of myself, and the extreme nihilism of doing this won’t really ever make me able to get over my extreme distaste for my mother (long, long before I realized who she really was I had nightmares about her maybe two-three times a week for 10 years, and I was told by an old classmate that I was laughing at her funeral).

Some of the things I feel resentful about, as a WM/AW Hapa.

  • I feel resentful that I am considered “better” because of my white blood; I would rather face the full brunt of racism than have to live with the knowledge of being superior because of my whiteness.
  • I actually was not fully taught to deal with racism, it was only after entering my 20’s when my appearance became more Asian looking that I was faced with racism and unable to cope with it in a rational way.
  • I feel resentful that I am treated differently than how I would be treated were I fully Asian. I would prefer to be aware of people’s true feelings rather than be treated accordingly with my white features.
  • I feel resentful that I was lied to about success, when Asian women like my mother gladly sleep with losers like my father provided they are white.
  • I feel resentful, now having been to China, that I am excluded from a burgeoning economy and a culture of amazing advancement, simply because my mother had a fetish.
  • I feel resentful that people are naturally clannish;
  • In this regard I feel resentful that the culture my mother had the audacity to raise me in (Chinese), excludes me from employment, from social life, and from true inclusion, despite me considering myself culturally Chinese.
  • I feel resentful that my mother valued whiteness, which implies I have to betray half of myself to meet the acceptable standards of my own mother.
  • I feel resentful in being taught to be proud to be Chinese, yet only under the conditions that I had a white father.
  • I feel resentful that the women that I feel I have a natural bond with prefer white males (most men subconsciously prefer women who resemble their mothers); including my own parents.