The Asian Female / White Male Dynamic Broken Down from the Inside (I.e., From a Eurasian Son Viewpoint)

Since this blog is quite long I figured I would reiterate my experience as the son of an Asian mom and White father. If you have similar experiences please contribute to this thread.

I will break this down sequentially.

  1. My mother had a poor relationship with her father, who was physically abusive to his children; she also had a background of poverty wherein the grandfather quite literally beat all of the children with a cane in the case of them doing poorly in school.
  2. She threw herself at my father on meeting him in a university setting; he was tall and blue eyed with red hair. So in other words, she had a white-fetish.
  3. Father was a nebbish, soft-spoken “Asiaphile” with a degree in East Asian studies and multilingual in Asian languages.
  4. Father believed mother was “God’s gift from heaven.”
  5. My brother was born, then I was born via C-section, after which my mother received a blood infusion with blood tainted with Hepatitis (which would ultimately prove fatal).
  6. Up until the marriage and the time after that I don’t recall since I was too young.
  7. Brother looked distinctly more Asian than me, with black hair.
  8. Mother began to “Tiger Mom” my brother and focus all of her attention onto him; I suspect this is because he looked more Asian.
  9. I was allowed more liberties in terms of sports, video games, social activities; brother was mostly friendless.
  10. I began to act out at a young age, acting violently and anti-socially; possibly as a way to get attention from my mother who seemed to devote time to brother (possibly because she felt little connection with me, because of the C-section or because I looked less like her)
  11. My mother gradually grew sicker and with this more anger at my father’s racism (she called the police on him), as well as his inability to provide (was making roughly 40,000 to 50,000 a year against her siblings’ husbands who were making millions), as well as his cultural ineptitude and unwillingness to take a strict mentality with the children. Her fantasy of a tall white man became a reality of being married to a balding white guy – the exact type of guy who marries Asian women in the first place.
  12. Mother repeatedly hit my brother and I with various items, coat hangers, rulers, etc.
  13. Mother confiscated our toys repeatedly, punishing us with more and more severity.
  14. Towards the end of her life grew extremely resentful and hateful towards my father, constantly badmouthing him to me, criticizing everything from his eating habits to his appearance, and refused to allow us to go with him to his home state in the event of her death. Near the end she had a full blown hatred of him and refused to even see him while on her deathbed; she died alone.
  15. Died. I did not cry at her funeral although my brother did. I was laughing. This followed by 12 years of nightmares involving my mother returning.
  16. Brother having been primed to be accepted into a single top ranked school his entire life, was rejected despite my mother’s promises and efforts. His mental state collapsed.
  17. Unable to function without mother’s intervention he locked himself in his room for an entire year.
  18. After this became hooked on meds, institutionalized and spent $150,000 on mental health services despite doctors saying nothing was wrong with him.
  19. Effectively destroyed his entire brain with medicine and is no longer recognizable as a person; has worn the same shirt for 11 years. Schizophrenic as well as violent breakdowns at work in which the police were involved.
  20. My story was effectively increasingly paranoid, hatred of my Asian appearance, shame, involvement in white supremacist groups, extreme weight loss and weight gain in order to alter my appearance to be more white, etc.

“My son is half-Asian, and he’s handsome.”

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Your handsome half Asian son.

Here’s a question. Are there handsome Asian men? Yes or no.

Here’s another question. Did your wife want them? Nope, she did not. Do white women want them? Nope, they do not. Don’t believe me? Just look up any study on online dating.

So why the hell would anyone want a handsome half Asian when they could just get a handsome full Asian?

The “beautiful Hapa” mixed baby myth is essentially nothing but that, a myth. I will explain why in a logical manner.

Even if Hapas are good looking, the fact remains that your treatment still depends on how Asian you look. “I know well adjusted Hapas,” means you know Hapas who pass entirely as white.

I have noticed in my life that despite some women considering me good looking, calling me gorgeous, handsome, dashing and beautiful, there are still women that disregarded me entirely for my race and told me so. Why exactly I would differentiate between the hurt this caused me, and the fact the my mother was the same way – makes no sense to me. Why would I look at my parents and not automatically think “white worship” when I myself have experienced discrimation?

I recognize her and the women in my family as being just as repulsive. People here REALLY think that a half Asian son is able to look at his mother and father and NOT see a woman who rejected all Asian men, worshipped white men, and a man who leveraged his whiteness to get laid? You really think we Eurasian sons don’t look at an Asian mom, White dad, as an almost living parody of the stereotype of the western man and his geisha submissive bride? (Notwithstanding in my case my dad was legitimately a conservative weirdo and my mother an insane, status grubbing woman with dyed hair and colored contacts).

Newsflash: We ALL think like this, though we’d never tell you.

Also, for almost a decade I would look at repulsion at my Asian features in the mirror and had a borderline paranoia at looking Asian to the extent I considered dying my hair blond and wearing colored contacts. I would even cut my hair short for a decade for a fear of its natural dark brown / black color to come out. I wouldn’t even let anyone photograph me – let alone photograph me from the side, because my side profile vaguely represented that of an Asian man, and tell me exactly why I would want to be an Asian man?

I refused to look at photos in which I looked Asian (which I DEFINITELY DO) and would instantly balk and sulk at someone making a comment about how I looked Asian. This is DESPITE me living in China where I feel less paranoid about my appearance, but still get stared at by locals and treated as an outsider because of my unusual looks.

The fact remains that there are good looking Asian men – and Asian women are still rejecting them in favor of attractive, unattractive or ugly white men, which indicates that it isn’t the looks that is so much at issue but that white blood that is valued in us.

So essentially we’re told from birth that to look Asian as a man is to be incredibly disadvantaged even with the women that we would otherwise be able to use as a fallback if non-Asian women didn’t want us. So even Asian women don’t want Asian men – yet we look Asian, so how fucked are we?

Even if I were attractive, which I assume I am by what people have told me, I would still be vehemently opposed to anyone, or any woman, who told me that white men are better candidates for making babies than Asian men.

Why would I believe a woman (or my mother in this case) who told me that race wasn’t the issue, when all indications, especially the overall behavior of Asian women, indicates that this is the issue?

How the HELL could I ever accept this attitude from a woman – even my own mother and women in my family?

How the HELL could this ever lead to a mentally healthy attitude development in a Hapa child?

How the HELL could I possibly ever come to terms, now or later, with the undeniable fact that the womb that birthed me believed that white men – even one with less qualifications than an Asian man – would make a better father / sperm donor / partner than an Asian man?

And what people don’t realize is that half-Asians, in the eyes of most people, men and women, are still Asians.

People who make those distinctions, make no distinction between full and half, which is why Elliot Rodger still was unable to achieve the natural confidence that came with being fully white, and snapped because he was never treated as something he believed he was treated as.

This, what you read here, is the ultimate affirmation of a specific kind of psychosis that will manifest in Eurasian men more often than not, and I expect there to be more outbursts or otherwise negative behavioral patterns in Eurasians – even handsome Eurasians.

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Another handsome Eurasian son. Yale student turned drug dealer. 

Essentially, the issue here is one of extreme nihilism: Asian women only value WHITENESS in their partners – to the extent that they grossly disregard personal development, character and intelligence, and this attitude, one that is at the same time, extremely lax towards white behavior, and stringent in its requirements for whiteness, is one that causes as massive, massive, massive dichotomy in the child, assuming he is straight, proud of who he is and determined to find a strong identity.

So now your half Asian son will be bullied, called a small dick chink, reminded of how he is Asian – and even worse, reminded of how millions upon millions upon MILLIONS of women who look like his mother hated Asian features. Good job folks, you’ve done it!

 

The Relationship between White Men and Asian Women is based on petty lies

To this day, my father still believes that my mother loved him and was a good person; he tried to show me their love letters stuffed in plastic bins in the basement of some refurbished farm house in some shit redneck state. This was despite the fact that, during my talk last month with my aunt, who is some kind of CFA or VIP at a top investment back, admitted that they “should never have gotten married.” I sat down with an Asian woman (married to a Chinese man) who employs a thousand people, and told her to her face, that my mother and father got married for fetishes; and when prompted she *told me, her nephew* that white men who marry Asian women “do so because they want to feel powerful.”

She also told me that my mother weighed around 70(!) pounds when she appeared in mid-July, on Central Park West, to meet my other aunt, to literally complain about my father. I think the story goes like this: my father had somehow quit his job or denied some kind of benefit 1-2 years before my mother died. I don’t remember exactly (though it’s only been a month) and she was sick at the time, and she had been in such distress that she called my other aunt (also married to a white male) to meet outside Central Park, and was wearing a down winter coat in July(!). My aunt was shocked to see her. Within a year my mother was dead… the story goes was that she was crying profusely on her death bed, begging my aunt to not allow my father to take me back to his state and also begging her family to take care of us, my brother and I. How she loved us so much.

All for a white man. All for a white man. All for a white man.

And thus this is how the story goes:

My mother approached my father during one of her language classes in university. By no surprise he was 6’3″, redhaired, and I guess unknown to her, borderline Aspergers. She valued his race. Of course she did.

“There’s no way she could have know what he was like,” you’ll say. Of course not. But if she had married a Chinese man, she could have know exactly what the guy was going to be like. Or at least had a general idea.

So she married a white man on the principal that he was white. And my father fell for petty lie number one: that it was for his person, not his race.

So for white men reading this; you essentially married a woman whose only interest in you was on the basis that you are white. “No it wasn’t.” Petty lie number one. “Oh, Asian men are controlling, Asian men are misogynistic.” Yet all the white men they marry and sleep with are 6’2″+ and they can’t keep their mouths shut about how physically inferior Asian men are behind closed doors.

Then I, the son, and my brother, was born. And we were told, from birth, that it’s all about embracing Chinese / Asian culture. Petty lie number two. Culture became irrelevant as soon as the father’s physical characteristics were the number one deciding factor. How dare this woman tell me that I am Chinese when she betrayed everything Chinese in taking a white man into her bed.

We were also encouraged to study hard and make a lot of money and play violin and avoid video games and parties; but why? My father didn’t make a lot of money. In fact, it became apparent as I entered high school and college that being white was the key to having sex, having girls, having love, even. Petty lie number three.

My mother set the precedent for us; she said that being white was all that matters; even if she didn’t say it directly.

Petty lie number four: The marriage was a loving one. It never was about love. It was about genes. It was about height and fair coloration and race. It was about race entirely from the beginning. And when the fantasy started to fade, when this 40 year old woman realized she had married an illogical loser who valued his own fantasy and romance about life and God and meaning, decided to give up his job, in order to escape whatever soul-sucking thing he felt was sucking his soul, she started to go nuts. She showed up in Manhattan wearing a fur coat in July, weighing less than a child. This woman from a family of multimillionaires. She hadn’t married her prince Charming. She had married a human being, the same white human being that white women never wanted.

It was a lie from the beginning and I expect any white male in a sexless marriage to a cold, conniving Asian woman, with two slacker or “weird” Asian male sons (despite them pretending they’re well adjusted for their white daddies), to be able to relate.

“Oh, but my white husband and I are not like that. My Asian wife and I are not like that.”

And I reply with: how would you know? You’ve been lying to each other from the beginning.

“In high school my best friend was half Asian half white, and he would always tell me of all the problems he had fitting in. . In Freshman year of college he killed himself and in his suicide note he said multiple times how he hated being a half breed”

http://www.girlsaskguys.com/dating/q1691929-is-it-unreasonable-of-me-to-refuse-to-date-a-girl-because-she-is-a

From Reddit found by poster u/mtzo.

Once again it is non Eurasians telling us that we’re fine.

We’re all “beautiful, well adjusted people.”

Yet for some reason, all of our moms did not want Asian men – the same things that we are. As a Asian-nish looking Hapa I can only imagine the hell of being completely Asian looking and knowing for a fact the ones own mother preferred white men and that there were no women out there, even the ones who look like you – who prefer women who look like you.

His comment:

There is a very real Hapa male crisis brewing in America, for all the reasons we’ve listed. We are just seeing the surface of it, the real tectonic plate shifts are happening under the surface.

The people most interested in what happens to WMAF kids are of course going to be WM and AF. And of course they will deny, deny, deny, the obvious facts. And people not involved in WMAF will generally ignore it. On top of that, the Hapa population is relatively small. Thats why the Hapa male crisis has been ignored up to now. But times are changing.

To the Hapas on r/Hapas I would say NEVER STOP WHINING. White guys and Asian women keep coming in here, to tell us we are accomplishing nothing with our whining and we should work on self-improvement. They wouldn’t bother trying to stop us, if we were accomplishing nothing. Just by speaking out on r/Hapas we are making a huge difference.

and

Yeah this white guy says that the Hapa dude was his best friend. And I guess he figured it all out. How Asian men are rated the least attractive, and yet the same Asian women are making Half-Asian boys. He has Asian girls throwing themselves at him. And many white guys would see this as a treat. But hes actually seen it from the Hapa point of view. And he knows that this Asian woman who is so desperate for White DNA, is just going to end up having an Asian-looking son anyway.

Most white guys could figure this out if they wanted to, but they have a self-interest in being willfully blind. But in this case I guess he had a close personal connection with this Hapa best friend.

Notice most of the comments, just assume he is against racemixing, without really dwelling into the complexities of Hapa male issues.

Hapa Thought Exercise

Let’s say you did not know your mother and father.

Let’s also say, for this thought exercise, that you were fully Asian. Or as a Hapa, that you looked fully Asian.

In a time of trouble, i.e., a climate of extreme racism, violence against Asians, mass lynchings, extreme anti-Asian propaganda, yellow peril, war with China or North Korea after 2016 elections, etc.

Would your parents (as strangers) have cared about you? Would your mother (as a stranger) have sympathized with you? Would they have reached out to you as an Asian male? Would they have attempted to bolster the community?

This is actually a legitimate question we all as Hapas need to ask ourselves.

I expect most of you to answer: no

To most of the questions. Wake up call, Hapa kiddos.

Breakdown of the Hapa Situation

(I just went through some of my drafts and noticed several posts that were stuck in limbo for months. I just published them now. More thought on the subject).

Breakdown of the Hapa Situation

Dating:

  • Asian women, belonging to a minority group, and also being naturally paired with one of the least physically / socially attractive groups of men, seek to date out, and are able to by virtue of their possession of female sexual organs that are naturally highly sought after by men regardless of the race / appearance of the possessor.
  • Asian women will chase white men because they are seen as A) exciting, B) exotic, C) less socially stringent / reserved, D) taller and better looking or E) because they want social acceptance.
  • Asian women will seek out white men – oftentimes the tallest and most pale / blonde partners available, sometimes for the status, but more likely so that they can have taller / whiter children.
  • On a purely evolutionary scale, this sounds perfectly reasonable. The downside is that we aren’t dogs, who merely accept their status as dogs because they are unable to consider otherwise.
  • The child, particularly if it is a boy, has a relatively high chance of looking Asian, exactly like the type of man his mom sought to emasculate. (I will discuss what happens if he does not)

Marriage:

  • Shortly after marriage, the woman will become passive aggressive and controlling, as her marriage to her man was primarily based on his race and status; necessarily, many of the women who exclusively chase white men are also careerists or social butterflies who realize an Asian male partner would relegate them to a cultural ghetto.
  • Since the marriage was never based on love, but more so on the hatred of Asians and Asian features, the marriage itself relies heavily on the white man’s ability to provide a fantasy / ability to provide whiter kids or a complete erasure of Asianness.
  • Sexlessness is the rule in White male / Asian women marriages, despite sex being prevalent in the beginning in order to ensure marriage. My parents slept in separate bedrooms for fifteen years! My entire life!
  • Extreme nagging and concerns over money become more and more common; the white male never noticed these issues because he was happy to get laid. The white male must be able to provide the white male Prince Charming ideal or the marriage will dissolve into nagging!
  • Naturally, any sane Asian woman with reasonable demands and expectations for a life would have been happy with an Asian male in the first place, but no White man would EVER have considered this.

If the child looks Asian, then:

  • He will come to internalize the negative stereotypes associated with Asian males, and have no outward recourse to find solace in his identity, as his own mother oftentimes had spent her entire life living on her privilege of being a woman.
  • Often times the mother will be disappointed that the child doesn’t have “a tall nose, round eyes, white skin,” etc. Sound familiar?
  • The boy’s father will have little clue how to raise an Asian looking child and the claims for the child to “just be nice” will have no consequence, as Asian men, well known for being the nicest and most reliable of all men, were rejected by Asian women en masse, of which the mother was (regardless if she admits it or not) complicit in. (This isn’t “nice guy-ism” as I was a huge asshole growing up, look majority white, and have gotten laid as a result. I have also been turned down by women on merely hearing that I was half Asian).
  • The child will be begin to associate being unlovable with looking Asian, as his own mother, as do many Asian women, displayed much lower standards for white males as she had for Asian men.
  • The mother will sometimes level micro-aggressions against the child, as her fantasy of being white and being accepted into the white hegemony clashes violently with her possession of an Asian looking child, which, in some cases, would make her, in the wider “white world view”, just another asian woman with an Asian child.
  • She will then begin to negotiate, in her mind, her child’s appearance, comparing it to full Asians, and start plying the child to go into acting (see, Modern Family), or modeling, as a way to reinforce the myth that the Hapa is more beautiful than its full Asian counterparts.
  • The father may sometimes be emotionally distant from the child, or, lacking understanding of the situation, unsympathetic to racism.

What happens?

  • The son oftentimes will just look like an average Asian guy; when this happens, he will go to no ends to justify his parents’ relationship in his head despite these couples being so common. Obviously, his mother will call him handsome, as do most mothers, but society will treat him differently, and he will have a sharp and painful collision of respect for his mother who feeds him, and his anger at being treated like an Asian male by Asian women.
  • If the son is over 6’2″, generally he will be able to surmount these difficulties (generally).
  • If the son looks totally white, more often than not he will just ignore these issues.
  • If the son is gay (which seems to pretty common), or closeted, he will deny these issues since he can readily find sex and acceptance at the drop of the hat. I believe that Eurasians tend to be gay at an elevated rate because of the subconscious emasculation that happens in their brains.

Reddit Horror Story #1

Since reddit.com/r/hapas, the repository for Hapa shit, might be closed down eventually I will start cataloguing the horror stories I find on there. I’ll be focusing on just using my website as a way to save all the conversation there.

Keep in mind there is reddit.com/r/hapas, which is called a “negative cesspool” and reddit.com/r/mixedasians, which is a “positive place.”

The posters use /r/mixedasians as a place to get away from the “negative” people at /r/hapas, but wind up just positing… negative stories.

Of course… we could all be just making this whole thing up, right? That makes it a lot more convenient for these couples to get together without any guilt. Right. It’s all made up.

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Do you see yourself as more Asian than your other side? My story and thoughts on this (self.mixedasians)

submitted 4 days ago by halfchineseprincess

So I know that this group is mixedasians, so I presume that people posting here are already fairly into their Asian side.

I’m half European Jewish and half Chinese.

I think I look half Asian at best, I’m getting that a lot more since I got my hair chemically straightened and it has no volume hahaha.

But, I feel way more Chinese inside than Jewish. I barely feel Jewish at all. I don’t talk to my father (Jewish one), and didn’t grow up in that community. I grew up in a very Asian-American suburb in the SF Bay Area. I know I don’t look that Asian, but I feel it a lot more inside.

I have a fair amount of angst of not being accepted by people who are like “YOU CAN’T BE ASIAN NO WAY GET OUT OF HERE!”, but there’s also plenty of people who accept me and see me for what I believe I am. As I’ve gotten older, I’ve learned to not care as much, but I still feel strange at times.

My favorite book is “The Unwanted” by Kien Nguyen, about growing up Amerasian during the Vietnam war.

I’ve toyed with the idea of learning more about my father’s culture, but I also have some extreme grudges against Jewish-American men and how some have a fixation on Asian women (I also want to work on this, but frankly, I’ve got bigger fish to fry when it comes to self-improvement). My father was very violent, abusive, sexist, and racist, and has a thing for Asian women, especially ones who just came here and don’t speak English. He ruined my mother’s life and crushed her dreams of a good life in America.

I generally just haven’t had amazing experiences with the Jewish-American community, although I do admit they are few and far between. My father’s family isn’t abusive and crazy like he is, but they are very distant. Although they are not straight up cold and admit it is a shame that my father was so terrible to me and my mom, one relative made a comment that he would not fill in the place/take the role of my father or a close relative since he isn’t one, although I could email him anytime!!!. It really hurts that they don’t care about staying in touch with me, and just have this occasional email relationship with me, more or less.

On the other hand, my cousins on my mom’s family don’t speak fluent english but have reached out to befriend me, and I talk to one of them every day and consider him a close friend/the brother I didn’t have, although he lives on the other side of the world.

I experienced a tragic loss, and am currently looking to find religion. Although neither of my parents have any background in the Christian faith, I am thinking most in joining a Christian church. I have been to a Jewish service before when visiting an uncle, and I found it to be cold and uninteresting. They just didn’t seem welcoming if you weren’t already in.

Anyways, my story. Anyone feel the same?

The cost of whiteness; and other thoughts 

Since the blog’s readership is increasing, I figured I would write a bit on some subjects for anyone interested; I think there are a bunch of full Asians reading this blog so I’ll leave some advice for them too.

On whiteness:

It’s obvious to me now that Asian women are willing to overlook monumental character flaws in order to achieve whiteness – through their kids. I don’t need to really elaborate on this since you can see it when going outside. My father is and was so far engrained in paleoconservative conspiracies that he left New York and his job, his 401k, because of his seething hatred of Jews and belief that the apocalypse was happening after 9/11.

Not to say that all white males are like this, but it definitely says something that Asian women so vastly prefer white men that they disregard the fact that Asian men have the highest income in the U.S.

My mom’s sisters (she has three) are all successful; one married and divorced from a tall white guy, and is now with another one and childless (I suspect this is because she saw how my brother and I turned out). The other two sisters married Asian men in their 20’s and now are very wealthy, with millions if not hundred millions.

My father is sleeping every night on the floor of a one bedroom apartment in the loft of a refurbished farm house in a rural town in one of the poorest states in the country.

And what benefit did it give me? Mental illness, cultural confusion, self hatred, exclusion from white social circles, exclusion from rising China, and exclusion from the same culture that I was raised to believe valued me for both my “hapaness” and my Chineseness. When I was younger I passed as white (and even in my 20’s took pride in it to an extreme – i.e., Stormfront membership) but the minute that I was recognized as Chinese I started spiraling into depression; I didn’t even look at photographs of myself and still don’t out of fear of looking Asian. Being used for my white face by family members – and then ten minutes later being told “you look Chinese,” was a pretty big source of strife in my life well until I was 24.

On Hapa life:

The entire shtick of being hapa is that Hapas are somehow wonderful, beautiful additions to the American tapestry. The reality is that America is extremely racist and Asian women get a pass from this because they can utilized their bodies to ensure survival. This isn’t anything different from the age-old conquest of cities and the assimiliation of the conquered women. (You can’t tell me that millions of Americans love to watch shows like Game of Thrones that involve human brutality then go about their lives pretending that that brutality exists in real life, on a daily basis; once again, the hypocrisy of Americans).

This would be a good idea if human beings were animals. Instead these Asian women are creating children who are expected to accept that Asian men are implicitly inferior and that it is perfectly normal for Asian women to prefer white men.

The entire premise of life, then, becomes stupid.

On the good Asian wife:

The “good” Asian woman stereotype, that my father bought into, is manufactured by Asian women to appeal to a higher class of men. They know they come off as higher value than white women and use it to secure higher quality sperm; after the child is born the marriage quickly becomes sexless and nagging and money based. Again, read my fucking blog to learn more about the marriage of my mother and father.

On struggle:

I suggest full Asians don’t really worry about this shit and just enjoy their lives. These women are creating essentially a fifth column in America (if the child himself isn’t cuckolded to the max like most Americans who slap around in sandals pretending “it’s all good”). It’s your parents fault for getting married and creating life that betrayed you; embrace antinatalism and problem solved. When I was at my lowest and within five minutes of killing myself (which you can see at the beginning of this blog), it was a gradual return to normalcy when I realized that at least I had fucking food to eat.

On the differences in types of AW/WM:

In Asia proper there are a number of Asian women who seek white males as a way to strike back at a culture they think has wronged them for their (poor) looks. (Some guy posted this video on reddit). My response:

What I do dislike is the actual good looking women who idealize western culture as a way to climb up in the world and / or fetishize tall white males for whatever reason (biological probbablly). To an extent, I personally think my mother was not attractive objectively, but I can understand how she would be “passable”. She wasn’t unattractive, maybe a 6/10. But she fetishized western culture very hard, and essentially because her father was abusive, she wound up with a white guy whose potential for success was muccccchhhhhh lower than the Asian men her sisters married.

There’s a lot of these girls with white boyfriends who use their boyfriends to increase status, like becoming youtube / youku stars, or using their kids for more views on Weibo, etc. I see decent looking girls with white guys sometimes, and they’re always either shopping, or making a very public display of their relationship. Even if the white male doesn’t admit it the relationship is still hinged on the fact that he is white, not on any personal growth or personal qualities. And after seeing this so many times is when a light went off in my head about my parents’ relationship and their dysfunctions became quite clear to me.

It’s funny because when you see women like that, the husband is rarely in the photograph (often stuck in a sexless marriage), with the child being shown off like an accessory. I was in a similar situation when I was young. Some of the photos are on my blog and in them you can see my father is essentially physically separated from my mother in all of the photos.

(I only posted a couple pics with faces blurred out because I don’t want to hurt my father).

#MyHapaStory

The fetishization and commoditization of Hapas continues. The Smithsonian APA is asking people to submit their “Hapa” stories. And then hashtag it with #My Hapa Story, in 250 words or less. Here goes.

http://smithsonianapa.org/myhapastory

Like most Hapas, I was born to a white father. But this wasn’t just any white father, he was an extremely paleoconservative, vitriolic racist who believed Asian women were God’s gift to white men. My mother had a strong passion for tall blue eyed white guys, and they got together, eventually giving birth to my brother and me. When I was born, my mother required a C-section (as a huge percentage of these couplings require them), which led to her being infected with Hepatitis during a blood transfusion. Over the remainder of her life, she realized that her fetishization of whiteness amounted to her having married a Neo-Nazi husband who had been filling her sons’ heads with white supremacism; compared to her sisters, who had married Chinese, and were all millionaires, she felt regretful. She consistently reminded us that we were better to be half-white, and Tiger Mommed us on top of that. I started associating looking Asian with not being desired (since my father was white) and spent 25 years attempting to hide my heritage so that I could be accepted in the same way that I saw my mother and women in my family disparaging and avoiding Asian males. She eventually died.

I then started to wonder why exactly the MAJORITY OF ASIAN WOMEN prefer white men. I then began to severely doubt that these relationships were based on love.  After that I started writing this blog and pushing the moderators of reddit.com/r/hapas to be more active.

250 words, just like they asked.